Try to stop and step back and breathe. Sometimes you got to focus on real basic things. Look at you!! You were feeling bad and so you took care of yourself by coming on this site!!! Well done you!! That should be a feather in your cap!! I hope you can do more basic things like that and self appreciate and enjoy taking care of you!! Peace, Mark

You have to change how you think 'do thinking'.

Focus on the basics, really consider the way you get up. Be kind to your feet, to your self.

You can do this!

As your anxiety level changes, you feel different, not necessarily 'worse', just different.

Your focusing to my on the problem. Keep yourself busy. Get out of the house and do something for yourself. Get out with friends. Sit down and write what your feeling inside. Stop in your tracks and breathe.

Actually true that I feel different.
I’ve also had the death of my pet still not sure I’ve mourned the death of my mother. And you know me that I don’t like the empty nest.

The more you can’t, the less you can. You are defeating yourself with your own words. We are our own worst enemy. How can you turn this around?

Maybe work on mourning you mother and your pet in therapy.
That may be part of your problem in making changes. But
you do have to change your thinking to get mentally healthier.
I know how hard that is. I have to work on it every day. It's a long
process but better than doing nothing. And staying feeling miserable.

I actually spoke with my therapist today. And I told her I need to cry for my pet and my mother and she said go park the car somewhere and cry your eyes out. She said it happened to her when her mother died. That she never had time to really cry.

Here is my problem. There are times I could feel okay. But as I wrote on here before if I go about my day and don’t worry I feel like the other shoe will drop and something bad will happen. So that is how I live my life. On edge at all times just in case.

If you think life is supposed to be perfect, you are in for a rude awakening. That’s the anxiety talking, nothing more. It’s got you conned into believing it. Life is about how we deal and learn from the negative things that are going to happen. It’s inevitable. You are so hyper focused on how you feel when it’s really more important how we react. Everything you are thinking and feeling right now is anxiety induced, it’s a false representation of who you really are. Just for today, accept how you feel and stop fighting it to the best of your ability, just let the feeling be there, don’t add to it with i can’ts and it’s horribles. Just for today. Take it one day at a time.

You therapists advice was good. You are actually not controlling any
event by being on edge all the time. And you loose energy to face when
something bad does happen. You also over react in stead of coping if your
anxiety is always up. I used to try to control my husband not forgetting his wallet, computer, etc. on work mornings. I was stressed ever morning. Watching for him to put his wallet in his pocket, etc. Then one day he did forget
his computer and I missed it. I was afraid he would have an auto accident if he had to come back for something. He came back after he got halfway to work.
Then drove back to work. He didn't have an accident.

Regarding my therapist, her point was that crying is an emotion that you have to get out. If your happy you laugh without any thought. So my holding in this crying is not releasing my emotion. And she just said she was so familiar with it because when her mother died, she had so many reasons not to cry because of people she was with so she knew exactly how that felt.

I know life is not supposed to be perfect. I think sometimes when it's one thing after another I just want to breathe sometimes.
I also have the affliction that I will not look forward to anything so I won't be disappointed. I recall others on here saying the same, especially someone who was going on her honeymoon. So let's say a trip is coming up, I literally will pack last second. I wont even prepare for it. Because I feel if I am ready something will happen and I will be disappointed. I think having these afflictions is what a huge problem is for me.

So what you are saying is that you always think the worst and that by looking forward to something is bound to end in disappointment. How do you think limiting yourself is working out? How is it affecting you? Can you equate your outlook to how you are feeling right now, today? According to your post, pretty bad. We get stuck in this rut of anxiety and it takes it’s toll. It literally robs us of any joy or true sadness. We can’t experience either, just our own self imposed despair.

Right. Actually that is a huge problem I have. Limiting myself is not working out great. Of course I don’t want to be this way. I don’t know why I am.
Our family trip is a month away. There’s things to plan and do for it and I don’t like doing it because I’m afraid the trip won’t happen.
I actually started feeling better today as the day went on. I listened to you mtd and kept the good feeling., although I get a sick stomach once in awhile but I am trying to make it through.

All you have to do is try. It doesn’t have to be perfect, in fact it is impossible to get it perfect. Keep on trying just for today.

Yes I am doing my best right now.
HOWEVER , I will go to bed and then have to deal with the morning again.

Marian2,
It sounds like you are dreading going to bed expecting to feel bad in the morning.

I was doing that (dreading) sleeping and things did get better for me when I stopped. Not as much as I would like but if we go to bed expecting a good day it just might happen.

Sure hope it works. Everyday is better than the last.
Hugs