No idea, I don't deal with my mother's anxiety well either. It really either makes me feel bad or pretty irritated.

As a mother myself, I had to learn not to take on the emotional state of the people around me. So if the child was upset, I had to choose whether or not i was upset, as a separate issue.

It can seem cold, but it's very good. If you don't feel mum has anything to be upset about, you don't have to share her upset. In fact, sometimes being calm and saying 'you have nothing to worry about' helps them.

I had a mother who was severely anxious all my life without knowing, and was enormously sucked in by her. Nowadays I tell her off, and tell her when she's making up demons to fight, or fearing things that may not pass. She hates it, but she's learning from it. And I don't end up screwed up, which from my point of view is the main thing. I've given away enough of my life to her illness.

My mother has fears...such fears...and tries to implant them into me. As a kid, growing up, it worked. Now that I'm an adult, and have lived on my own for awhile, I know that a lot of her fears are unfounded. I get annoyed with her and I argue with her, suggest alternatives to her fears. The only way to fight an idea...is with another idea.

I had to learn to use this saying to remind myself to take care of me first. Just because someone else says it is a problem does NOT make it my problem.

I have kept quiet when there's so much yelling...or other behavior that shows the other person is overwhelmed, and then when they pause, I say, are you done and move on.

There are times to distract, and this is one of those times, as speaking in emotional spikes can really create a chaotic situation that does not work well for anyone.

Best wishes with putting you first.