Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
My ideal "relaxing" day is sitting at home, watching tv, in air conditioning lol. One of my so-called friends told my best friend that I live in a box because I don't enjoy doing a lot of activities (ie: going to the beach, etc.). I'm pretty good with dealing with negative comments but however, this comment I can't seem to shake. I don't know if it's because I considered her a friend or what... but how do you guys deal with negative comments that someone might say to you or to someone else about you?
In our society mental illness, such as anxiety and panic, are felt to be 'all in your head' so people think you can 'just get over it' and don't understand why you don't (as if we don't want to.) I always hated this attitude especially since I got most of it from my own mother. So when I got comments like the one you received I took offense on more than one level - I was judged and that was bad enough but on another level they were saying what my mother always said to me and that hurt....deeply. And when something hurts it's harder to shake.
If this person is actually a friend then their comment was very hurtful and I would say this person is not actually a good friend because friends don't talk about you behind your back (unless it's to plan a kick ass surprise party! ).
If what you are feeling is hurt then sit with it and try to process it. If you want to cry, then by all means, cry. If you are angry then punch a pillow or scream into a pillow. So often we can alleviate anxiety symptoms by allowing ourselves to feel and show our emotions. After all, people with anxiety are masters at repressing emotions.
That said... I am also love to be home watching tv or working in my yard. Some of this is because of the anxiety and I was afraid to go out (I don't have this issue any more) and some of it is simply because am a home-body. I love my home, my husband and my cats. I have a group of friends who respect this and, when my anxiety was at my worst, they call came to visit me - no questions asked.
Take care
I'm now 53 and my dad has since passed away. I am my mom's caregiver and I limit my time with her. I also call her on much of her judgement and nasty comments which she doesn't like.
What I have learned is what others say and think about you is THEIR problem....not yours....it says so much about their character...... It shows their lack of compassion, shallowness, and what terribly flawed ignorant ppl they are. I have learned that some ppl don't belong in my life and have dropped many so called "friends" and I am much happier. The exception is my mom becuz I don't want any regrets later.
I agree with LuckyEmpathy......your feelings need to be expressed safely and appropriately. We are deeply feeling peeps who are afraid to exercise boundaries. When someone crosses the line, we tend to move it instead of standing our ground. We don't need to be aggressive, we need to be assertive :)
I still grapple with that from time to time....but am much better than I was. It will really help us become more confident and happier.
Friends will sometimes offer helpful feedback and it can be painful but also helps us grow.
The thing is that she did not say this to you, did not phrase it in a helpful way but instead in a judgmental way and, in speaking with a mutual friend, it was caddy.
I'd be pissed too.
When I've had similar situations, I have confronted the person gently and asked, "Can you tell me what you meant when you said..."
See how they respond and it will tell you whether you are friends or not - it may have been a misunderstanding, she may have meant it as a "how can we help Melissa get out more?" and she may think it's unhealthy that you don't get out more. Extroverts sometimes do not get how an introvert could be happy spending so much time at home alone.
But her answer should clarify a lot for you. Then you can decide what to do from there.