I'm sorry I don't really have any advice for you but wanted to let you know I'm very sorry for what you are going through. My family is pretty supportive but I know it's very hard for people to be understanding when they don't have a clue what this kind of anxiety is like. No matter how you try to explain it, they just aren't going to understand. Keep coming here for support and maybe someone who has been in your place will have some advice for you. Hugs!

Thank you, sweetheart. It's such an uneasy feeling..

wow dear soul....I am sorry you have to deal with such stuff.

Lets step out of the box for a moment. I dont care who it is...parents should always be supportive of their children. PERIOD!

In this world there are good parents and bad parents...whatever the reason it doesnt elliminate the responsibility of being a good parent.

Myself, my parents were terrible for a long time. I was whipped, punched, my father was an alcoholic and wasnt around. I just wanted to be loved and accepted by them. I am 45 now and I think they finally got. My grandma called me a bastard when i was like 12...who needs that crap?

You can choose your friends, but not your family. Make the best of what you can with your family...but if you have to make your own pseudo family...that is fair also...I had to for many years..I always found someone I could look up to...it helped.

I encourage you to stand your ground...and if your family wont stand with you...try to talk it out...but it sounds like you have made that effort...so do what you need to do for yourself to be self confident and strong.

Sweetheart, sometimes you cant get through finally...but yet it is our dream right? I know...but sometimes it just doesnt work. Look for good things around you to focus on...find good people and gravitate to them...if that means away from your destructive family...loving them does not mean you have to be trampled on. You must stand your ground, for you and your mental health.

*hugz

Thank you for the advice. My mom died when I was 6 and I was abused by my ex step mom until my dad remarried again when I was 12.. I've always felt second best in my father's eyes, and I just wish he can understand my issues and just support me. I'm sorry you had to deal with that when you were younger..

you know...I feel ya...and thanks :)

A fathers relationship to a daughter is one of the most important things for healthy mental development in my opinion. I am sorry you dont have a better example. But know there are good examples out there...

For me, in my beliefs a good father is a picture of what my heavenly father is like...please try and not let it taint your mind against all men or maybe even possibly God's love for you....if you believe in stuff like that...

Growing up tough like that can really jolt ya the rest of your life if ya let it. Especially loosing your mom so young...that has to be tough. *hugz

I have gone thru a lot of the same bs with my family but my stepdad was the big troublemaker. after things got real uncomfortable at family get togethers I noticed that I didn't like socializing at any kind of happening with a lot of people, family or even friends. my therapist calls it social anxiety and told me I hve to worry about my mental health first and the feelings of everyone else last.
If it makes you anxious before the get together and during and after, you are talking about days instead of just a few hours of anxiety. right? so remember your only obligation is to yourself, not your dad. and if your family thinks bad things about you why worry about going to be around them anyway? right? I would just tell my dad I suffer from social anxiety and I am miserable for days over these happenings and if he doesnt like it why worry about his feelings anyway? It is clear he doesnt worry about yours, right? just tell him some professional advised you to take care of you and not worry about him. you need to be able to function every day and not have this bs weighing you down. ya think?
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Thank you, ladies. Your advice means a lot. I think I'm going to finally get the strength to tell him, one final time. If he's going to curse me out, then obviously its not worth it anymore to try to have any sort of relationship with him. Luckily, I found God, after a while of self loathing. It's been very pleasant. My husband has been a great support system over the past few years. I think he's finally getting my anxiety.. and honestly, I rather have him understand than my dad in the long run.

It sounds like your dad does not understand your anxiety and does not care about your well being. It is very selfish of him to want you to do things you do not want to do especially when you are in such an anxious state of mind. You do not need to be surrounded by negativity, so I suggest you tell him how you feel and just stand up for yourself. I hope things get better for you.

Thank you.. its been like this for as long as I can remember, "oh Chelsey, you're fine". Funny, he used to say that to my mom when she was on her deathbed.. my dad is a completely heartless person. I txtedhim this morning I couldnt go because I had "work".. he was surprisingly fine and said okay. I think my dad has a lot of issues of his own he doesn't feel he needs to work out or is too afraid.

I think you're right about your dad having his own issues. I'm glad he didn't give you a hard time about the holiday. I think you have to keep setting boundaries with him and standing up for yourself. You deserve to have your anxiety taken seriously and if he can't do that, you have to really make sure you're not listening to him, and maybe just not have him in your life, at least for a while. Glad to hear your hubby is supportive. ((hugs))