So sorry about your wife. Maybe a cancer support group
might help also.

I am very sorry for your family. Cancer is so prevalent that majority of people know someone who had been impacted by this illness. My SIL went through it and a church was able to help them especially my BIL and their kids. People from churches can offer tangible assistance as well as emotional, especially for children. Sometimes, a shoulder to cry on can help someone in pain as if sharing their burden. Again, I am very sorry for your wife and your family.

Writing things out on DS can, indeed, help sometimes.

Rocking you gently and crying with you.

Still listening. . .

Thank you for the kind words.

Crying cleanse the soul. Remember it is okay to cry sometimes. You are not alone,,, I have gone through similar situations at multiple times. Thank you for the courage to express yourself. I will be praying for your wife and your family.

Take time to express your feelings in private, journal, and know that you are not alone in this journey.

It's difficult to remain calm when a loved one is dying, in pain, in turmoil, and it's a time to remember to breathe, to stay hydrated, and to cry and grieve.

Sorry for your loss.

Consider a grief share workshop - support group for care givers - or some group that can provide understanding of things you go through.

I'm really stressing out today. Tomorrow, we're going to see a cancer surgeon, and I'm having a minor panic attack.

I just don't know how I'll support my wife if we receive bad news. I'm really scared. Any help please?

Hello @stlake,
I am so sorry that you have been going through such a dark valley with your wife. You have had to really deal with a very high level of stress and anxiety, and I am so sorry for that. I have been praying for you over the past two days and will continue. How did the visit with the oncologist go? How is your wife doing? Do you have a local church that you could reach out to for help? Would you be interested in talking to someone who can help you navigate this emotional time? Again, I am praying for both you and your wife.

May God bless you,

Kevin

Kevin,

Thank you very much for your thoughtful words and prayers. The meeting with the oncologist didn't go so well.

Ever since, I've been having extreme anxiety (I've been fighting depression for 30 years) and have never experienced something so intense.

I have a PDoc, church and meds but I'm still in horrible shape. I just can't take it.

Yes, I would be very interested in talking with someone.

Andy

Friends, I'm so wired today. I feel like I'm coming out of my skin. Can someone reach out?

Hello Andy. I have read this since you posted. The topic is very close to my heart. I lost my husband to cancer in 2012. We knew that it was fatal at the diagnosis. He was my rock and stability in so many ways for our 22 years together. But now he needed me at his level of acceptance. If he had a good day, then I supported it, if he had a bad day I supported him through it. I sure didn't go into it thinking I was strong enough to do this. I took it a day at a time, so as not to waste the time he had.

Andy from our first breath we all will meet the day that is our last no exceptions. We just at that moment of diagnosis that he would probably see his day before I seen mine. I still feel the loss and pain. But a strong realization is also with me. That it's not the day of our beginning or leaving that is important, but the things we do in between. As I take calming breaths typing this. I know that He loved me until his last day. I will carry that in my heart to my last day. I still have everything in me that he loved and will build on that as I have from the day we knew.

I am sorry for the pain you both will face on this path, but you know everyday is a gift, many never learn that until it's too late.

At almost 7 years out now I know, but then I was as fearful as you were. I just tried to keep those feelings down to be there for him.
Everyday was a day to let him know that he mattered.

Hugs, hope and support.
J.

You spend hours on the Internet exploring health info. When you get a irritating throat you habitually think cancer — not a cold. And even when medicinal assessments come back presenting that you're healthy, it doesn't make you feel better. In the back of your mind you still feel like something is wrong.

That’s anxiety and you have to do something about it

For folks who are distress from health nervousness, it's not supportive to tell them that their signs are fake or it's all in their head, "It's frequently more positive to hearten them to look at what the concern is responsibility to their life," he says. "How is it nosy with the belongings they enjoy?"

Today, I'm feeling ~ok. I'm not sure why, but I'll take it.

Not to be pessimistic, but I know there are worse days ahead. I have no idea why I feel a little better today, but I'll try to relish this feeling as long as it sticks around.

I know and understand the pain, it saddens me when we see a loved one hurt and there is nothing we can do to help them but just be there for them. Even if it is hard for you. It is a nightmare for the sufferer and a nightmare for the supporter of the sufferer. I try my best to not show how things had affected me because I have to be strong for my loved ones who are hurting.