Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hi everyone; I'm new here! Thought i'd try to step out of my comfort zone and try writing here. Today my friend and I went out for a quick grocery shop and I couldnt help but notice some girls starring at us. As I grabbed a few things that I needed and stepped away to put my items in the cart, some lady also went up to the items and looked in to see that it was picked over and what she wanted wasnt there. (It was picked over because the items were on sale) So I over heard her saying to her daughter along the lines of "people really feel the need to stock up on things" in a condecending tone. I dont know if that was intended for us to hear, but I took it as it was. That same lady had a friend in line. As my friend and I were heading into another check out, I see her in the corner of my eye starring at me, flipping her hair around her shoulder and turning away. Lastly, I make eye contact with another person and she looked me up and down and then started texting. We finished paying before her and her boyfriend (im assuming) and made our way to the exit. This sweet old lady had stepped away from her cart to grab some lysol wipes that was by the exit doors, therefor blocking the exit. The old lady apologized and we said that it was okay, no worries. Coming up behind us was that girl who was checking out with her ?boyfriend? and she pushed through between my friend and the old lady, saying "ugh god". Leaving her boyfriend behind as we all waited for the old lady to make her way out. She stomped and stormed out to the car. We walked the same way. They were parked directly infront of our car. As she waited for her boyfriend that was behind us to get to the car, she just stares at me.
Why. Why are people like this? Is it because we were wearing masks and they werent? Is it because my friend was a little heavier than those girls? Were they starring at me because I had just touched up my brows and they were dark; thinking I looked stupid?
These are the things that go on in my head and it makes me not want to leave the house. It feels like if I want to go outside, I always have to look my best or "normal" to fit in. Should we have not worn the masks because it made us look stupid? (I have a health condition that makes me more at risk, so yes, I have to wear one)
The world is not the same place as it used to be and it hurts. This ties into my depression because it makes me not want to be apart of this world anymore. Why would I want to bring up children in this world, where less and less people have manners or patience. I'm tired of being and trying to be a good, mature, respectful person, when all I get is judged. It's getting harder to leave the house; I don't want to be around anyone with all the hate, disrespect and negativity..
Sorry for writing so much.. Thanks for reading.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
From what you described happened, you and your friend did nothing wrong. The other girl was probably jealous of you, or why else would she just keep looking at you? Don't people stare more at attractive things? I wouldn't worry about it... the fact that girl almost plowed over the older lady shows that she has some issues of her own!
I am not sure the mask law in your area, but that is good that you wore your masks to the store. I wear my mask at the store.
I know it's hard, but try not to care what these people at a store are doing. Chances are, they aren't looking at you. Maybe they just glanced over. People are too wrapped up in themselves to care what others are doing!
You were just fine. Don't even think about it.
Wearing a mask is necessary in a lot of businesses.
Here's how I get through those moments of people watching. I am responsible for what I say, do, react, and respond. I am NOT responsible for what others say, do, react, and respond. I say something polite and smile (it shows in the eyes and face). Be kind for your well-being. I have had several people smile and be kind and be nice to everyone else after a near "mean" look and or words.
Writing it out allows you to express everything in a safe way.
Why are people like this? This is a question I don't think there's really an answer to. Lots of people are a$$holes. Not out problem. BUT I do really think it's more about THEM than it is you. People that act this way are miserable beings, that's all there is to it. Please don't take blame or responsibility for her actions. Not your circus, not your monkey.
You said you were worried about the way you and your friend may have looked, your eyebrows, weight, etc. I don't intend for this to sound rude but the world in general or that girl's world doesn't revolve around your eyebrows. LOL. Please think about that when you start 'picking' yourself apart.
And good for you for wearing your mask. We've got to stop this virus from spreading. There are plenty of people who have expressed death-bed regrets for not wearing one or have lost family members because they thought this was some hoax or gov't conspiracy. It is no big deal to wear a mask. I've literally stood in line at WM numberous times in the past when some goon behind me coughed hard enough to part my hair in the back.
I'm always kind when I go out. If someone isn't kind I always think to myself, maybe that person's having major life issues. I don't know what it took for that person to get out of bed that morning. I don't make it about myself and I don't make myself their judge and jury.
Remember this: A LION DOESN'T CONCERN HIMSELF WITH THE OPINIONS OF SHEEP. You can find this online in poster/picture form. I have it framed hanging in my office.
Good luck and be kind to yourself. You are the LION!
When I nursed my 4 year old foster daughter through a panic attack on the grocery store floor yesterday, it was the plurality who skirted their proper social distances around us without a single show of compassion. At least, I think it was people behind those masked social distances.
Dunno why are people the way they are. Increasing social distance now. . .
That's the anxiety of my thoughts, is wondering what they're looking at and what they're thinking. What are they finding about me is wrong? I know they're probably not analyzing my brows or my friends weight, and if they were, then yes they've got their own self esteem issues lol.
I've had to work on this sort of anxiety with a psychologist that introduced me to the tool they use, Unhelpful thinking styles. But it's hard to remind myself in the moment to keep referring back to it. I've dealt with those issues since I was in kindergarten.. My older sister was way too invested in her looks and it rubbed off on me.
But, looking back on this post; i'm embarrassed that I even thought about it like this. I know better.
Arfie, i'm sorry you had to go through that without anyone showing compassion. Every parent who goes through that should have someone let you know that it's okay. Whether it be someone actually coming up to you, or just that reassuring look. Everyone has gone through it.