as i work to trust the "new normal" i've established with hubs as we've worked to stablize our foster family, much of my work has been gaining access to each other's mental libraries. back when he was a busy tech exec and i was just a do-it-yourself project he worked on when he had some spare time, our days were so radically different that we needed library interchange protocols just to share the events of our days. i never saw past the security guard at his corporate offices. he never saw the interworkings of my daily life, though in the manner of all good execs, he had plenty of experts keeping him posted. his experts were really clever in hiding their surveilance because i never busted a one of them, but there was never a need to fill him in on my days. he knew my life better than i did. that is pretty typical of experts. they don't need reconnaissance to know it all.

hubs is coming up on the first anniversary of retiring his corporate gig in favor of growing our farm llc and helping with our 3 orphans. we spend more together than we ever did while he was busy being busy. oddly, he is far less authoratative in his certainty of how i spend my days. he is taking that library interchange program seriously and paying far more attention to getting on the same sheet of music than telling me my mind.

am i making sense? i don't know what i am reaching for here. just trying to find words for ^it^.