Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hi everyone, I am a married father of 2, with a job that I love. For years I have struggled with anxiety and depression and consider myself high functioning , but have always been somewhat of a worrier… however, lately it has escalated to incredibly excessive, crippling worry and paranoia. This manifests in creating “what if” scenarios , and spiraling to the absolute worst possible outcome of this potential scenario. For example, I could not remember precisely what my hand gesture was during a conversation at work, so my mind said, “what if you made a rude gesture” and created a scenario in which the person who saw it was offended, and it was going to lead to my downfall at work. Of course, I did nothing wrong and the interaction was innocuous , but I had crippling anxiety for weeks as I imagined the absolute worst case scenario playing out behind the scenes. This also manifests in thinking folks have nefarious intentions, like conversations are a test somehow, and I failed the test. I am successful, and normally very confident, but lately I have been so scared of things being misinterpreted that I am hyper aware of every single movement I make and words I choose. It is effecting my ability to focus on the things that make me happy, and lately if I feel excited or a positive emotion, my mind immediately says “but you don’t deserve to feel this, remember that thing that may happen…”. It’s awful… I am on medication for general anxiety and depression, but they don’t seem to be able to help with this. I don’t want more medication… but I also cannot live and enjoy life with his constant fear of “what if”. I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs anymore. Early in my 20’s was a different story… and shrooms and pot actually triggered my depression. In fact, I tried marijuana recently after about 15 years sober and wow, worst panic attack I’ve ever had. Not sure what the solution is, but writing about it at the very least seems to alleviate some of the negative feelings. Hopefully no one else feels this, but if you do, I’m curious how you manage these intense emotions. Thanks for reading.
-
I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
-
Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
I can't recommend counseling enough, as long as you find a counselor who is good at what they do (many are not). But I think something you can do today that will help is to make a long list of things you are grateful for, to get your head space out of this negative spiral.
The catastrophes you are imagining are extremely unlikely to occur and it may be helpful to remind yourself of this. You can even write out these worst-case scenarios and then make a list of what is 99% more likely to happen. This is an important way of battling the cognitive distortions. Your depressed brain is trying to tell you all kinds of lies. Remind yourself of what the truth is and don't listen to that crap.
Another thing to consider is whether you have been exposed to Covid. I just found out the other day from a counselor that what they're finding is that exposure to the virus is causing mental health issues for people a few months afterwards. So a side effect of getting Covid can be increased anxiety and depression down the road.
I've never had drug or alcohol issue but it doesn't sound like they're helping you.
What I can certainly relate to is a lack of joy. I have a hard time taking joy in anything and yes when I have a nice moment it's soon followed up with a slap back to reality and how miserable I feel. I have severe depression too, anxiety yes. It's complicated but doesn't matter really. I know what you're going through.
I just have one kid but for me that makes it difficult too. Wish I was a stronger person basically.
You're not alone. If it helps to talk keep talking.
writing it out not only helps helps settle my symptoms, sharing my anxieties of the day in a safe place such as this one often nets me excellent suggestions for coping and managing those symptoms.
keep sharing, val. you are not alone.
Writing it out helps to release the words floating in your mind.
You are not alone as you find your better balance.
I would have to agree with GratefulPhoenix wondering if you have bern exposed or had COVID. I have GAD that has been under control for 6 years. I got COVID in August and have been dealing with anxiety snd depression ever since. It is starting to get a lot better. The only new thing in my life was catching COVID. It totally made my “what if” thoughts.
Are there any other triggers besides smoking pot again?
Welcome to a safe sharing space!
I didn’t consider it, but it’s totally possible the recent attempt at trying pot triggered a more severe anxiety. Maybe my brain chemistry was altered ? Either way, I am now 100% sober.
Something I did not mention is extreme stress that was caused by a major surgery to someone close to me. That happened right before the pandemic, and perhaps the effects of that and the pandemic are coalescing and coming to the surface now that things have settled down.
I don’t know… but I’m taking to my doctor next month about next steps. I am living in constant fear of every little thing and it’s becoming debilitating.
Thanks again all. It’s great to have a group of supportive people here.
So sorry you are going through this. I recently went through a period of heightened anxiety. I tried a couple of CBD products, very mild which seemed to help, then slightly stronger, and that one caused an intense anxiety episode. So I'm off CBD for now. Yes, I think it can trigger a person.
What helped me was to avoid exposure to a lot of news, which I normally kept on top of, and also avoiding entertainment which is stressful or too serious. I kept to comedies and light reading. For music, nothing harsh or depressing. I also honored my feelings and if I wasn't feeling right about doing something or being around someone, I did not. I made sure to breathe and do a light meditation every day, preferably morning and night. Start the day out with gratitude and breathing and calming stuff. I tried not to overload my schedule and to-do lists and spend adequate time resting. I also finally started to spend more time at home and this seemed to be the final thing to get m anxiety under control. When I am away from home too much, I feel worried that I'm not doing things there, or something like that. Also, avoid drinking and sugar.
Scott