Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
i've been struggling with depression in recent weeks/months. it is nearly 6 years since my son's funeral launched my second parenting career with his 3 children, then ages 6, 3 and 8 months. i call them my foster children to cut down on the verbage explaining my guardianship. officials need to check grandmas for restraining orders these days. i've even helped sibs-in-healing get those restraining orders. don't let the stereotypes fool ya. grandmas come in a great deal of variety. no, i'm not just helping out. i could use some help, if available.
we appear to be thiving, but the long haul is grinding. do i really have to keep going?
as is my 70 year habit, my temptation is to escape the depression. begone, you ominous cloud! ! ! i bargain. i bully. i ply logic. i doomsay. i deny. i repress.
what if i accept depression as a natural part of the human spirituality? would it be a spiritual experience to embrace the depression without clinging?
just wondering. . .
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
called "melancholia" - sadness and questions surrounding it
has been around a long time. It comes in many forms.
Right now I am thinking about when something is called "bittersweet."
on the bitter side, i am feeling the long haul grind and still awash in envy of my age peers who get to enjoy a "normal" retirement.
'Bitter-sweet'
AH my deare angrie Lord,
Since thou dost love, yet strike;
Cast down, yet help afford;
Sure I will do the like.
I will complain, yet praise;
I will bewail, approve:
And all my sowre-sweet dayes
I will lament, and love. ~george herbert
DYFS? New Jersey Division of Child Protection and Permanency? the equivalent of CPS (child protective services) in my own state?
in my one case, i believe the ages were huge factors in the early fostering. 8 months, 3 and 5 year olds still act out their trauma, but 11 and 12 year old acting out gets downright scary. the oldest turns 12 this week, but he's worked through most of the early foster trauma. at lest, that's my prayer and i'm sticking to it. for sure, i trust him around the animals.
is it ironic that a week-long break from the childcare brought my long haul depression into focus? the kids left for their annual summer week with their maternal family yesterday and my anticipatory ambivalence made me wonder.