Ouch, you must be in a lot of pain. Is there a way you can postpone going back to work? It's not uncommon for people, even people who usually are not depressed, etc., to think about killing themselves in intensely painful situations. Please don't. You are a good person with a foot that will stop hurting sometime soon. I'll pray for you.

Can you get a doctor note to stay off work longer? Tell doctor about pain. See if you can take stronger meds or do something for the pain.

Went to see doctor thanks for responses she put me on stronger meds for foot pain. And I'm going to try a new antidepressants so hopefully this will work. I'm not going to kill myself but my mind keeps putting these thoughts in my head and I'm writing them here just to try make some sense of my thoughts. I still think I'm suffering from grieve from the death of my dad I miss him so much things haven't been the same since he died. Thanks all for support

Grieving a death is tough even for anxiety free people. Time will heal this I'm sure.

Hopefully but my dad died in 2012 and straight after that I cared for my mam. Who suffers with memory loss . I tried to look after her but I got sick myself lost loads of weight.. I felt I was on the verge of a breakdown and if I went down so would she. She's now in a nursing home I really suffered with anxiety while looking after her but I still suffering. I didn't get the chance to grieve for my dad. I regret not being there the time he died. I put other people before him. I cant forgive myself for that he was such a good man. When I get like this I miss him .

Do you think it possible your anxiety might be a symptom of the circumstances in your past? Family life? Decisions you’ve made & now regret? All of us, myself included, haven’t gone through a picture-perfect childhood or are currently living a picture-perfect adult life, for that matter. Some of us choose to hide wrong decisions we’ve made and pretend that we can go on in life while trying to put the outcomes behind us. What if there are consequences and it shows up in the form of a long-term illness, depression, sleepless nights, anxiety, etc.? Or your conscience keeps bothering you and you just can't get it out of your mind. There are so many unfortunate circumstances we must deal with and then some we can't control. So instead, what if we chose to listen closely when our conscience guides us in helping us decide what is right and what is wrong? It wouldn't be a total cure for what ails us, but do you think that might help?