Hi Daisy, been there. I've often believed that naturally anxious people want to be "people pleasers" and don't like the thought of actual confrontation and the thought of actual confrontation can be absolutely paralyzing.
What seems to have been working for me is daily mediation and prayer. What I am learning about my anxiety is that at it's core I simply believe that I am going to let someone down or fail in some way.
I have been trying to "rewire" the way my brain reacts to anxiety. What I do is that after having an anxiety attack I will later when I can be alone and undistracted spend time in quiet mediation. Thinking through all the details of the attack. I try to find the root thoughts and self talk that was going on during the beginning of the attack and when I find them I can begin to see how silly and wrong those thoughts are.
Over time i'm getting better at stopping the chain reaction before it gets to a full blown attack. I still have my moments but they are getting better.
Hang in there and remember that the feelings of insecurity are self induced.
Keep us posted on how you are doing and please feel free to message me if you want to talk further.

Sorry about your battle with anxiety and your craptastic day. I like that word you made up. It sounds like the main fear is the fear of making mistakes and failing. It helps me to separate myself from a job in terms of my self-worth. It helps to set my mind to go in with confidence , maintain confidence and finish the day with confidence. It helps me to prepare for a specific meeting as much as possible but then refuse to let my mind get stuck on worrying about it. It does help to think of giving the boss what he or she wants to help them and doing your job as well as possible. But I focus on thinking better about myself. Feelings come and go, but what's the best I can do in a given situation. Hope you have a better day.

hi .....I know this is going to sound a bit off the wall ..but ..here goes aneway ............we are all made of energie and ..every thing around us is also made of energie .....there are if you notice people who just drain our energie ....along with situations ......if you are having people around you at work ....who are draining on you ....what you can do ..is cross your wrists and cross your ankles when ever they come near you ...this will block them from draining your energy ....from you .......try it .....

I agree with musk everything is energy , I get pushed around by people I hate these attracts there not only embarrassing there draining daisy you can do it just think about us where right behind you sipping on water if you crying you cant cry while sipping water my doc told me that, hugs min

When it comes to the job, I find it helps to remind myself that it is just my job and keep myself a little detached. I know this is not always easy. I kind of envision a shield around myself. They can have me for 8 hours a day but after that I get my life back. Big Hugs!

Here's something else that might help, goes along with what everyone is sharing: if you're not able to answer a question in a meeting, just use the "I'll get back to you on that" or some other comfortable response that shows you listened, and that you want to verify your response before stating it officially. With anxiety, staying "in the moment" while at work will significantly reduce your usual thought pattern from breaking your focus. Best wishes.

Stop beating yourself up! You had a rough few days, you are human! It is not easy when you are in the "tough" meeting or wish you had something else, or wish you had not said anything at all! We have all experienced that. Do not let it rent space in your head and bring you down. It happened and it will pass. You can talk to your boss about his perspective and see what his thoughts are. Sometimes, we are worrying much more than need be. We put ourselves under a magnifying glass, usually much closer than anyone one else! We all make mistakes and a lot of them. They do serve to strengthen us and they do serve to propel us more in the direction we desire to be. Mistakes do serve a purpose, so none of it is wasted. Prayer does help. It reminds us that we are not alone and that there is grace and protection. Be gentle with yourself and do not lose hope! This will pass, stand strong and believe in yourself!

Thanks everyone for the help, I'll give this stuff :)

Hey daisy, thanks for the word of the day: craptastic cracks me up.

You know someone reminded me of my journals today and I read through and they were all written in the throes of anxiety attacks. and I read back and i think man I've come a long way.

I'm not on meds, which is huge - but also, I'm not beating myself up, which is huger. Yesterday I did an audit and lay in bed waiting for the humiliation to hit. I talked to the bosses at the place I audited about myself and my life. I was waiting for the humiliation to hit. The neighbours had a giant argument outside. they went to bed. I lay there waiting for the anxiety attack.

it didn't come.

I went to work this morning, fine. No anxiety attack. I normally have severe anxiety after an audit. No anxiety.

I AM GETTING BETTER!!! I tell you, you are getting better even if you don't see it. How do I know?

You have said you refuse to quit. That is so cool. That was my starting point too.

The other one is though, don't ask for sick days or whatever from the anxiety. Always make yourself go to work no matter - because in about 1/2 hr of work you have forgotten it all, and you are busy with what you are doing. So you are overlaying this really bad memory with new experiences.

keep fighting. Keep going back in. You will have crisis after crisis. I had them for ... man it's been since 2008. ... but I am over the bell curve, on the other side, flattening out and starting to feel like an actual human being at last.

It's wonderful. it's worth it. Keep going through the hell and you will eventually make it out the other side. And don't take yourself too seriously while you're there. They don't think about you when you're not there. They think about their kids, their car, the house renovations, the darts night at the pub. When it's over, it's okay. Plenty of tomorrows.