Welcome to the Anxiety Board at DS.

You've taken the important first step in writing it out.

Ask yourself what you are afraid of living? Changing the word to help you sort through the feelings and emotions and thoughts will help.

I can relate to what you’re going through. At times, I become absolutely terrified about dying. I also have this intense sense of dread that everything in my life is going to cave-in on me at any time.

Chances are that you are not as mellow as you think you are. Anxiety comes from negative thought patterns that stimulate our built in anxiety mechanism that protects us in times of danger. It’s working on overtime right now. Low confidence is usually the culprit in negative thinking. Since your thought patterns are already established, write down the negative thoughts and any fears you are having, It will help when you see a therapist so to identify what you need to focus on.

Inside my personal herstory, every time I've gone OCD over death scenarios proved to be my "Death Wish" when I dared to look at it a bit deeper. Perhaps the residuals of my suicidal ideation? For sure it has more to do with my fear of living than my fear of dying. I cope by addressing my fear of being fully, completely myself in itsy bitsy baby steps. Easy does it.

But that is me and every case is unique.

Steadying support while you find what ^it^ is for you. Keep writing it out. Your own answers are in there.

For me, It's not so much dying.....It's wondering is God mad at me when I say bad word's, and is he gonna send me to hell when I die? I see satin, and it's minions disguising themselves
as friend's and family.

So, You're not alone.

Just some more info, fear of dying is pretty common in anxiety disorder. Guitar man, I fully relate to your post. I personally believe it all stems from a lack of confidence, once the idea is formed, our anxiety laden mind works overtime and comes up with scenarios that we aren’t equipped to deal with. As children we lacked much needed support like knowledge., a support person like mother or father to whom we can talk to about such things. Instead we bottled it up because we had no outlet, and it grew and morphed into the ugly and raging beast that it can be. Without the guidance we desperately need, from a small child and upward, we stumble around blindly, not knowing what to do or where to turn. Our young minds have no answers, we have no support to speak of, is it any wonder that we have not the confidence we desperately need to believe in ourselves and be able to see thru the lies our own brain conjures up?

I have no confidence and Low self esteem
And have screwed up alot of potential relationships because of it.

Yep, I can relate to that. I’ve spent a lot of time running, and I’m not talking about with my feet.

though not diagnose (would like to) I believe I Have general and social anxiety, social because, I knew A girl from camp ask me to her prom, And I like I couldn't go cause of the anxiety.......Hate being around crowd's of people, confined to small room.....she is now my friend on Facebook, However, She told me she didn't go to her prom...........I feel so Bad about it,

And when I'm at family gathering's/party's, I tend to drink alot and eat less........I'm terrible in group's, even small groups, Vertual is ok, only when I'm face-face with people I have problem's