On the family relationships topic, from what I've seen, it's normal not to get along with family. You are too alike, you have to spend too much time together, and the pressure that you're supposed to like them makes us all just want to get away. No one has ever said you have to like your family, you just have to love them. I love my mother but she drives me so insane every time I talk to her.

I find I fake a lot of interactions as well. The reason behind this, for me at least, is that I don't want to appear how I really feel because it would lead to everyone getting too nosy and a lot of "oh poor you" conversations. Try to find someone you can be real with, so when you're feeling all that anxiety you can let some of it out and get back to what's important.

Angellore, we learn to pretend with others, to have a professional persona, that works. No, the inside doesn't match. I figured it wasn't safe to share my real opinion of myself, but I could be what was needed on the outside. Families, especially dysfunctional ones, determine who we believe we are. The recovery journey lets us recognize that the messages were wrong, and we are basically loveable and good. It takes two willing individuals to have a good and healthy relationship. I hear you willing to do that, but being blocked as it does take both people. Hope that you will find the support and healing you need here. Welcome aboard the lifeboat. Healing and empowering hugs.

I consider the need for the estrangement of my birth family to be a permanent handicap, but it's only a handicap. I try to handle it in the same spirit that I encourage for my blind and paraplegic friends. It doesn't diminish my value as a human being nor rule out the potentials of a rich and full life. It's just a handicap.

Just my take on it.

Gentle support while you figure your own take, Angel.

Do journal writing about your feelings. When it comes to relationships, it's important to remember that you are NOT responsible for how others feel, say, and actions. You are responsible for your feelings, your words, and your actions. Practice thinking in your well-being for your responses. That changes the way the conversations continue.
Best wishes.

Hallo dear, thank you for sharing... Sometimes family do have a way to bring out the worst side of us, don’t they? I was estranged with my mum for a while. Though we are talking to each other now, I’ll still prefer to keep my distance. Recently, I also have an insight that the bad relationship I had with my mum shouldn’t define the person I am. I shouldn’t let what my mum said in the past define what kind of a person I should be. I’m in control of my own action and life. So, I would like to encourage you to take control of your life. DOn’t let them control you. You can heal from the hurts that they have caused you in the past. Find a therapist or counsellor. Do whatever it takes to heal from it. You are stronger and better than that... Keep well and take care. Praying for you. GOd bless!