First time typer, long time sufferer. 

I've been dealing with panic attacks since roughly 1987. 1st attack when I was 17. Only one attack at the time. Next, when I was 19. Both of these events landed me in the ER. Then I was good for roughly 10 years. I had seen a psychologist for 8 years. He retired and its been 3 yrs and i just found another Dr. to see. I take effexor 225mg and xanax 1mg when I wake up and up to two more doses through the day. The xanax does not seem to be working at all anymore.

My description of a panic attack is simple, I'm going to die! Right then, right there. The only way to stop it is to get out of whatever situation I'm in at that moment and get to a "safe" area. For me, a safe area happens to be my home. I have been diagnosed with agoraphobia as well. I'm not afraid to leave my home as a rule. I just cannot freely go anywhere as I wish. Everything must be planned and go as expected without deviation. Yesterday for example, I needed to drive almost 25 miles for something. I made it about 16 miles and had to turn around. This was with 2mg of xanax on board also. As I drove down the highway at roughly 100mph so I could get to my safe place all I could think was just get home. This was about 1pm. At 2 pm I was still in full panic mode (heart racing, dizzy, hypersensitivity to noise and any change in my body. From tingling in a hand to upset stomach, sweating and just an overall sense that I need to get to an ER right then). My attacks will last hours not minutes like I've read other people having. 

I am here to get tips on coping techniques that work for you. I have zero! The dr I saw for years advice was "nobody has ever died of a panic attack". I replied with, "how do you know that? Did you ask them". I always thought if I was smart enough and I wouldn't be that guy that was to manly to go to the dr. I have heard stories my whole life about the guy that "didn't feel well so he went and laid down" only to be found dead later. My attacks take a serious emotional and physical tole on myself. Sometimes on my wife and kids. I don't participate in nearly anything I want to such as camping with them. I stay home and watch the dogs. My grown son lives 100 miles from me and I can't just drive up to visit for a few hours. I stopped hunting. I stopped golfing. I stopped doing pretty much everything. I'm so worried about dying that I stopped living. Right now I'm just putting in my time and going through the motions. I'm nearing a point in my life where I'm actually contemplating leaving it all behind. My family would be financially taken care of and they wouldn't have to worry about me "losing it" and wrecking the fun for them. 

Part of my problem is I am not 100% sure I'm going to heaven when I die. I have accepted Jesus Christ as my savior but I am a sinner. Even though I ask for forgiveness I don't know if I have it. I have never killed anyone or anything but I have hurt people emotionally and physically. If I knew in my heart and soul that God accepted me I think I could get over this. My fear is dying and not knowing what's next.