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To the dogs

Rruussnn
Rruussnn

I lost my dog last July to cancer, as some of you might remember. It was devastating and I got very depressed, but through treatment I got back to "my normal" last month. I've been poking around the rescue sites to adopt a dog and I've seen a few since July and I visited them but decided I wasn't ready. I actually adopted one in September but realized I was too depressed and it was a mistake so I returned the dog. Never thought I'd do something like that.


As I feel better, I feel more ready now, so I found a dog and put in an application, which was approved last week. Fast forward to yesterday, the day before my meeting with the dog, my anxiety was sky high and I was crying furiously about my dog that passed. I did not understand why I feeling so much pain. Today, I had the same anxieties, but I adopted the dog. I feel like I would keep putting off adopting another dog because of the anxiety. Anyway, today was the same with furious crying about my previous dog. I told someone about this and they astutely opined:


"I believe you're crying because by adopting that new dog, you have accepted on another level that the dog you lost isn't coming back."


WOW. I think they probably have hit the target on this. The mind is a mystery. My subconsious mind was coming to that realization, but my conscious mind couldn't figure it out.


I am so exhausted physically and emotionally from the past two days.


Thanks for reading.


billwfriend
billwfriend
well silly show and tell time....we want to see this new poochie!! Hugs
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Good morning Rruussnn! I'm sorry that you have been so upset over your dog that passed away. I agree with the someone who said that about letting go of your dog that passed. I don't know if you know who Sylvia Browne is but she was a psychic who I followed and saw in person. She wrote some wonderful books. She said in one book that when we get to Heaven, our past pets beat our relatives to our sides. You will definitely see your past pets in Heaven and by the way, they watch over us, just as our relatives and friends do. Try to enjoy your new dog. I agree with bill, let's see a picture when you are ready. My first pet was a German Shepherd that I picked out when i was 5 years old. We had lots of dogs growing up and a few cats. I am the only cat person in the family. I lost my cat Joey in January of 2021 and cried for months. Then I put a picture of my first Siamese cat on Facebook, saying that my heart was open to a new kitty. A friend of mine send me a picture of a Siamese kitten that her niece was trying to find a home for. I wasn't really in the market for a kitten, but I agreed to take him and it was the best decision. He is beautiful and makes me laugh everyday. You will find joy in your new dog.
Rruussnn
Rruussnn
Thank you for your reply. I do recall Sylvia Browne from the Montel Williams show. I do believe that some people have certain special abilities, I'll hold off on thinking about the after life to minimize my anxiety! My previous dog was a big mostly German Shepherd mix so he was a lot of dog and the one I adopted looks like a mini German Shepherd/Husky mix. She seems to nap while I do work, which is a good thing. Right, I will find joy in my new dog. Right now, my emotions are all over the place.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug Rruussnn and congratulations on your new family member

I was in no way ready for a new dog either
I was still grieving my Rascal but she needed a home and I thought I could give her a good home

We fell in love but it took a little time that's all

Now she's my bff ..We've been together 2 years now but still at times I look at Rascal's photo and shed a tear

I look forward to seeing my wonderful dogs in Heaven..

Xo
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Give it time Rruussnn! I didn't mean to spike your anxiety.
Rruussnn
Rruussnn
Right, SunCloud, it will take time to bond, just like with my previous dog. But, gosh, am I wiped out from all the emotions from the last two days. I feel like I am getting up from having been knocked out in the ring. Fortunately I have therapist appointments on Monday evenings. I always keep a small towel on hand and, boy, did I need it. GreenEyes, no problem at all. That's the least of the anxieties I've been feeling.
hasty_05
hasty_05
I think it is a good step that you adopted a new dog. You rescued an animal that needed you. You are a hero!

We cry because we are humans and humans have memories and feelings. So the grief just bubbles up from time to time, the loss stays within our memory but stops being so strong or a big depression. We cry because we are moving forward in our lives and that is a big thing.

And yes, by getting a new dog, you are acknowledging what has happened and how it won't change.

I believe in unusual things. Maybe your old dog brought you to the shelter to get a new dog and is so happy for you? Hugs.
Rruussnn
Rruussnn
Hasty, I do believe in unusual things, but I feel like those things never enter me. I can't say I've experienced anything unusual. On the other hand, perhaps unusual things are happening to me all the time, but I just don't recognize them as such.
Scout21
Scout21
Hi Rruussnn, I'm sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the emotional strength it took you to visit the shelter, let alone return a dog. That must have been so hard. I lost my dog this February and I still cry.
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