Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I am an unfortunate perfectionist. Not a perfectionist, but a always-show-my-best-self-to-the-world-ist. That means sticking with what I know. If I try something new and fail, I feel intense shame and stress. Even if that failure isn't objectively bad, I'd feel these things simply because I'm not showing my best self.
I just tried something new, and it didn't live up to my expectations. Additionally, it's going to be the cover of a group art collaboration. The fact that I didn't show my best self AND that it's getting a lot of exposure... is making my brain go haywire. I'm fighting those thoughts and started getting dizzy.
I chose to try something new... I knew that I could have stayed with what I knew, black and white ink illustrations, but I wanted to try more watercolors. I feel this obligation, this NEED, to make things look nice, and perfect, and just like the picture, just like my expectations. I knew I could have stayed with what I knew, but I chose to try anyway, because I thought I could go one step at a time, simple.
I deviated from my color mockup, then I felt so, so lost. I'm looking at my nearly finished piece now and my motivation to work on it's gone... this shame, this self punishment, this agonizing seriousness, I want it to go away. My main priority right now is to not feel those things. Because I know if I do, I'll be afraid to experiment again, I'll be afraid to learn anything unless I feel safe.
Art isn't SAFE. Being an artist isn't SAFE. It's not a secure way to live, it's not logical, it's everything and nothing at the same time. Safety in art is like irony, a joke within itself. There is no safety.
I have to fail to get better... it's just luck that I failed in a more visible way this time. Next time will be better. For now I'll try digitally touching it up.
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
If you ain't falling down, you ain't trying hard enough.
Hope you learn how to take a risk without the inner critics telling you *it's best to keep ^it^ predictable," Ollie. Your most predictable self is not the best you you can be.
I most certainly suffer from the same as you, I finish 80% of a picture and then lose motivation. I had a VERY successful artist friend explain my problem to me. He said that my loss of motivation is because I'm subconsciously terrified to finish and have it 'end' so I mentally stop myself from finishing so I can feel I can go back later and recreate that passion. But remember art is a personal experience to be enjoyed and released like spring, summer, fall and winter. Then rise again all over in a new loving work. Let the cycle bring out the best of you