Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Constant Guilt Tripping

InfiniteWonder
InfiniteWonder

Does anyone else struggle with thoughts like "right now I should be doing this, or I should be doing that?"


It's constant at the moment, like if I go for a long walk one day, but just a mediocre one the next day, my mind says "you should be doing more." Or, "you should be trying harder to help your mental health."


For instance if I'm reading a book, my mind will say "you could be going for a walk right now, or you should be cleaning." Etc.


The only time I don't guilt trip myself is when I'm working, but even then I think about whether I'm doing 'enough.'


I only have enough work to fill up my mornings at the moment, and my afternoons are just a battle between my restless brain and anxious body.


If I do something new once my mind says "you should be doing this now." I constantly question whether I'm doing enough to help myself, and struggle to concentrate for any longer than five minutes in any leisure related activity I do.


Any tips for dealing with this? Thank you.

arfie
arfie
When I'm not guilt tripping myself, I'm beating myself up over the shoulda, coulda, woulda's of lost opportunities.

I use positive affirmations to remind myself I am and always have been doing the best I can with what's available. Nudging myself into taking more pleasure in leisure activities is an important positive affirmation, with a mental raspberry to the inner critics who keep lacing in the doubts. Been a time or three I've needed to imagine the inner critics playing in all the spittle I raspberried at them. Lighten up, boneheads! ! !
annieheart
annieheart
Always even know Im doing the right thing for me at the moment. Guilt slips in my brain. I havent realized until I read your post how much of an issue it is for me.
hyperpgal
hyperpgal
yes--I have had a constant--never-ending to-do list in my brain for ever--I just started lexapro and it has dimmed down a bit--but it is like I don't feel worthwhile unless I am doing something productive--right now as I am typing this my brain is telling me I should be picking cherries (regardless of the fact that I've strained something in my back from pruning trees this morning) so medication is the only thing that has made that go away--somewhat...
Community LeaderMid
Mid
Keeping a list of the things I do every day help remind me that I am "doing".

I distract the "thinking" with "doing" even if it's just something simple.

Best wishes!
Miki
Miki
Yes, I do a to do list also. It makes me feel better when I can check off tasks, but I question myself sometimes when I feel I didn't do enough that day. I guess it is common to have the shoulda, woulda, coulda floating in our heads. I feel that right now it is important to give myself love and compassion because these are hard times. Relaxation, doing hobbies, and self care are all positive things to do.
4Willow
4Willow
Oh Arfie, I'm reading this great book titled "Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda: Overcoming Regrets, Mistakes, and Missed Opportunities" by Arthur Freeman because I've been regretting a decision to move for a career for 5 years! Ruminating over it but didn't know I was ruminating until recently. Then I went on a search for a book to help me. This book helps me to understand the different types of thinking we do - and coaching me on how to challenge my wrong thinking. When I got down to it, I was able to get back to the fact that I made the best decision at the time based on the circumstances I was in and it was a rather good decision. But my anxious personality wants to doubt and regret and beat myself up - for what? I probably make better decisions than I give myself credit for. The anxiety of moving made me so sick 5 years ago that I got diverticulitis and lost 45 lbs. - real serious. That move is what prompted me to seek help from a medical professional who diagnosed me with GAD and I've been on a path to understand my anxious thinking, learning terms like rumination, obsessive thinking, etc. so I can catch it and challenge it. I'm making progress but this Covid situation set me back and I got back on a med that really helps my anxious symptoms go away when my coping skills are not working. But this book has helped me make some progress better understanding some of my thinking.
InfiniteWonder
InfiniteWonder
Thank you so much for your helpful advice everyone.
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