"A compressed spring" is a good analogy for my own anxiety build-ups. For whatever reason, I prefer geophysical/chemical analogies, but the spirit of the analogy is near enough for metaphoring around. The essence speaks of the cumulative build-ups of repressed energies which can explode at any time, without warning.

It helps me to take the focus off of other people and keep ^it^ strictly personal, especially in the midst of a "Trigger Event" where another person provides the trigger for the psychotic break. The problem is not the fact that so-and-so looks or sounds like one of *Them*. The problem is the volatile mix inside of me that was ready to explode at the slightest spark of static electricity. Other people don't *make me* anything. Healing is an inside job. It's strictly up to me to find my own healing path.

But that is me. . .

Gentle support while you find what works for you.

For what it's worth
I'm kinda glad there is no "Pissed Off" emoji face here. "Horrible" covers it well enough for my therapy nickel. I really am horrible when I'm pissed and spoiling for a fight to release those repressed energies. Any fight will do. "Give me that friggin' lollypop, kid! ! ! How dare you be cuter than me! ! !"

yep. and its sad when ppl don't realize you spend all your energy tiptoeing around, trying to avoid things and not get stressed out and pissed off...then when you finally do, they yell at you to shut up, call you psycho, tell you to go get help, to leave, etc...so then you go back to tiptoeing, and get even more stressed out, cuz no one understands and its always your fault, and the more youre *not* supposed to get pissed off, the more stressed out you are, trying to not be pissed off... :(

when I feel like that I sometimes go and exercise--it is calming if I have too much adrenaline in my sustem, or I just lock myself away and stay the heck away from everyone--turn the phone off, computer off--basically just insulate.