Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hi, I need advice. My children are grown. My youngest daughter just lost her job, did not meet a quota. She is five months pregnant with second child unlikely she an find another job now. Her husband does OK but cannot really afford the high cost of health insurance and day care. If they give that up they would hae to go on a six month waiting list. She cannot accept employment unless she has daycar4e and she will have a second child to enroll. I am a mess, my blood pressure is high and I am constantly anxious. Any suggestions.
My mother is 75 and her worry over my brother and wanting to help him started as soon as he lost his corporate job. Actually she worries about all of us all the time..because she is a mom. However, what she had to do with my brother was release herself from him. She did this by focusing on herself. She realized that she could not care for him financially (or mentally...he has issues) so she focused on herself. This was not easy for her and it took her a few years to feel comfortable with it. Mom's spend a lifetime giving and giving and not much time thinking about themselves so this was new to her but she did it. My brother got back on his feet on his own...not a corporate job but he pays the rent, the bills and puts food on the table. She let him go and watched him survive. And in the process she grew too and realized that she needs to focus on her more. It was a win/win for sure.
I hope this story gives you hope that you can also get through this difficult time.
Take care
I had a really terrific parenting class where they taught us that one of the most important skills is to know which problems are ours and which belong to our kids. It can be hard to separate.
However, this is clearly your child's problem - even though your heart goes out to her.
In this sort of situation, what I do is to is to provide suggestions and resources - IF THEY ASK. That's where I run into trouble. I so want to help!
If they ask, you can help them think it through by asking, "what have you done so far?" "what else have you thought about doing?" "How would that work out?"
And if they ask, then you tell them that you've done some checking and they may be able to ... And you can give them a list of resources.
But be aware of your own limitations as well. If they ask to move in with you, if it would be a joy for you then by all means - but also have a hard limit on it - and on what you will do in terms of looking after the children and doing their housework.
By allowing them to work through this - with you offering emotional support (I know you can work through this) and suggestions (if asked for them) it will be a gift to them. When they work through it, it will be a tremendous sense of accomplishment.
Good luck to you.