Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hey guys,
I don't think that I've been here for ya'll this week or vented either. Good news is that I've been just inside the border of having a breakdown. I kept it together (so far) of a very intense insurance class that I don't feel like I learned anything and I have a lot on the line for passing the test the first time. My mom would say that I don't have a lot on the line and I don't have to pass this test the first time. Once upon a time, before I was sick, I would freak out and study and pass no problem. Now I can't study consistently. If I get something wrong, I have a negative thoughts session. I go through all the things wrong with me knowing full well that I'm being negative and overly emotional. I'm human, That applies both ways I think. I am only as strong as I am and being negative is something I'm working on in therapy. I feel tho that on a good day or week my anxiety is like I am a glass of water filled to the brim. I am anxious over everything and nothing and don't really know what I am worried about. Then something like passing this test comes along and its like dropping ice cubes in the full glass. The problem is that I can't spill over. Nobody would understand why I can't handle it. Nobody understands that I don't want to be the one in the family everyone worries about. Nobody will understand the fear that comes with not knowing if you will ever be able to take care of yourself or your child. No one will understand that I'm spinning on the top of the tip of the knife and the fear of going down the sharp edge when I finally fall. Nobody will understand that my anxiety does not mean that I do not fully trust in my god because I know that I'm going to be alright with his help but nobody will understand
Maybe they will
Maybe they already do
But if they did would I be here alone in my room crying in my books writing you?
I don't think that I've been here for ya'll this week or vented either. Good news is that I've been just inside the border of having a breakdown. I kept it together (so far) of a very intense insurance class that I don't feel like I learned anything and I have a lot on the line for passing the test the first time. My mom would say that I don't have a lot on the line and I don't have to pass this test the first time. Once upon a time, before I was sick, I would freak out and study and pass no problem. Now I can't study consistently. If I get something wrong, I have a negative thoughts session. I go through all the things wrong with me knowing full well that I'm being negative and overly emotional. I'm human, That applies both ways I think. I am only as strong as I am and being negative is something I'm working on in therapy. I feel tho that on a good day or week my anxiety is like I am a glass of water filled to the brim. I am anxious over everything and nothing and don't really know what I am worried about. Then something like passing this test comes along and its like dropping ice cubes in the full glass. The problem is that I can't spill over. Nobody would understand why I can't handle it. Nobody understands that I don't want to be the one in the family everyone worries about. Nobody will understand the fear that comes with not knowing if you will ever be able to take care of yourself or your child. No one will understand that I'm spinning on the top of the tip of the knife and the fear of going down the sharp edge when I finally fall. Nobody will understand that my anxiety does not mean that I do not fully trust in my god because I know that I'm going to be alright with his help but nobody will understand
Maybe they will
Maybe they already do
But if they did would I be here alone in my room crying in my books writing you?
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
Can you understand what the jews felt in bergen belsen concentration camp? Not a chance.
Anxiety disorder is like a concentration camp. it's insane. Nobody can understand it who hasn't had it. :D
I think the thing I figured out, towards the end, was that I didn't have to get through a life.
I had to get through the next hour.
That's all.
your only interface with the world is now. Right now. You can act now. You can never act then, or later. only ever a long series of nows.
So just hang on in there and take care of now. Right now. That's all you have to worry about. Claw your way forward in life as you claw your way forward in time. work out the goal, and claw your way towards it. Learn to ignore anything on the side of this path. It's irrelevant now.
Survival is your game, and your next priority from there is passing this course. Go online, spend an hour a day googling this course. You will find old exams, you will find essays, you will find a million websites and youtubes that you can use to soak up the info.
Soaking up info is hard with anxiety I have noticed. But it does soak in without you knowing. So just keep moving forward as they say. Keep moving forward and you must logically end up somewhere.
:D
You can do this!