Yes...here's the thing, it's why we 'do thinking' to keep our focus on the current, and appreciate what we are doing in the moment.

As long as you let your thought wander through that path, it's going to continue. You are the one who has to control the path of your thoughts.

So, it could be an interesting phone call. Change how you look at the information you're thinking of.

Read about mindfulness. Practicing it can help with your anxious thoughts.
You train your brain to concentrate on what is happening in the moment. Changing your way of thinking is good also. It just is very hard and takes a lot of effort everyday.

yes, i get this quite allot. my shrinks and i call it hypervigilance, but we don't hold it as a natural part of natural anxiety. we hold it as an aberration of prolonged, sustained anxiety. when a state of heightened anxiety has been sustained for long periods of time, the anxiety hormones stop switching off and the cumulative effect is similar to methamphetamine addiction. detox needed to purge those cumulative hormones from the system. rehab and support needed to develop healthier coping mechanisms.

i am not using the royal we here. the 'we' is comprised of therapy supporters and myself who have worked through my specific case and every case remains unique.

gentle support while you explore what it is in your specific case, marian.

As Arfie mentions, when it goes into 'hypervigilance', it becomes a new normal.

To change that, takes even more effort as Arfie shares.

Arfie is also correct in the individual case is specific to that individual.

Tired is right about 'mindfulness'.

Finding what works in the moment is individual. You can do this!

Having lived with an abusive husband, I know exactly what you are saying. You know it’s coming, just not sure when or how. For you Marian, with your husband’s attitude, I can see why you feel like that. You have been conditioned to expect the worse. The good news is that you can get past it with help and the right tools. It won’t be easy, but it can be done.

I get that feeling, too!
Whenever one or more of my family members leaves the house I get so worried their going to get into a car accident or robbery or something big. I also am so worried that my gerbils will die that I keep waking them up when their asleep to make sure.
You're not alone! Keep talking!

That's right, mtd, that abuse from a significant other does change how you view the unknown news.

After I left my ex and was able to afford living on my own, I bought my first new vehicle ever, it was all mine, no husband to share it with. The very first day I had it, I backed into a wood pile and put a small dent in the bumper. I was very upset, my anxiety was in overdrive as I fretted about that dent. Several days later, still fretting about the dent, I realized I was waiting for the fallout from my husband for denting the vehicle. It was then that I realized how conditioned I was, just waiting for the abuse to start over that dent. It was quite an eye opener for sure. Nobody but me was going to yell at me.

What a good feeling that must be mtd, just answering to yourself.
It is true I have this feeling because of my husband, but I just all around have it. I couldn’t have kept more busy today. And my anxiety was bad all day. It’s like if I’m accomplishing something or trying to live normally, I feel like i am not alllowed to. That something is going to happen.

Yes, I get these thoughts too. But usually when I am under high stress situations with lots of stressful things going on at once. Otherwise, I try not to think that bad things are going to happen because.... well... you might just get what you wish for!

One thing to try, not yet mentioned in the terrific ideas posted above, is to think of something that you are looking forward to. Maybe it's Thanksgiving, or Christmas, a special dinner coming up, lunch with a friend, watching your favorite TV show, eating something yummy, decorating the house for the holidays, doing some holiday shopping..... whatever it is that YOU look forward to, and that makes you happy. Try to think more about good and happy things, rather than doom and gloom worries.

Actually, I was just reading (in one of my 100 anxiety books!), about how what we think, releases a chemical by our brain. Bad, negative thoughts release bad chemicals and so we "feel" bad. Good, happy thoughts release happy chemicals, which is why we "feel" good when we are happy.

So maybe try to think happy and good thoughts more, and see if that helps train your brain to help you to feel happier. Worth a try I think.

I have this too. And for me, I think for me, it really is like a learned response/thought process that goes back to when I was a nervous wreck kid and worried myself sick over everything. Old habits die hard.

I agree it’s all part of that hyper vigilance. I usually can gently brush those thoughts aside a little easier now when they come up, just from learning over time how to not dwell on them.

GirlinCalif believe it or not another issue I have is I can’t look forward to anything because then I’m afraid it won’t happen.
Like a trip or holiday or kids coming home whatever it may be. So if I have to pack or something I am always just throwing things in a bag last minute because I don’t want to be disappointed.

If you let it, your mind will tell all sorts of stories. When we let our minds wander, it doesn't know where to stop and begins to perpetuate both good and bad thoughts. Daydreaming about the lottery and fearing a bad text is no different to your wandering brain as it is only doing what you have trained it to do. Unfortunately, this can spiral into full blown depression or other mental illnesses. You should start returning your brain to the state it is designed for which is focusing on the moment (mindfulness). Meditation is the key but don't get turned off by some preconceived image. Meditation is a very generalized term that simply means you are training your brain to slow down the thoughts. When you get good, you will actually find time when thoughts will come to a complete stop, providing a nice rest for your brain! The key is to start now before the wandering mind becomes a bigger problem. Good luck!

I get more in depth in this article if you want to hear more about some tips and tricks to help you on your path to mindfulness.
https://yourvayk.com/2021/11/05/why-and-how-meditation-works-for-anxiety-and-depression/

I am brand new to this group. And I am with you 100 percent in this . My anxiety is debilitating. My heart goes out to you.