Do you have an MD? And are you opposed to prescription meds? Or would you prefer a more natural route?

I am seeing a counselor but that is on hiatus until next semester... which seems like a long time. So, i am on my own trying to figure things out. @misleadingsmile I also PM you :)

Buses and trains I have refused to go on for three years because of what happened to me on there. I get panick attacks even thinking about it.

Yikes, I'm sorry you're getting panic attacks. Although, I am no counselor, yet, It sounds like you have PTSD. Seeing a good therapist will definitely help to keep things in perspective. Remember too, that the panic attacks come on when the light-bulb goes on in your head, then you get the flash backs, suddenly you're loosing control and BAM you're then having a panic attack. It happens so quickly that you might not even be aware of what's taking place in your mind the moment before the anxiety kicks in. Plus, as it's happening there are physiological processes that are taking place in your body which make it so much harder to control in that moment. Racing heart is one that you may or may not be familiar with. I"m not a huge fan of medication to control this but if you see a therapist and she or he recommends meds for a period of time I'd definitely consider it until you start to be able to manage and cope with the trauma on your own. The memory will always be there, sadly. However, it can get better with help. Best of luck XOXO

Did I also mention that I use to suffer from pretty bad social anxiety? Seeing a therapist back in the day plus actively putting to use what I learned through therapy has drastically helped ease my social anxiety....I can now speak in front of three or more people with-out feeling like I'm totally falling apart :D

So sorry to hear that you are going through something so difficult right now. It must be daunting for you each time you have to get on the bus. I can only imagine how scary it must have been for you. Do you have access to counsellor or therapist?? I think one of the therapies, CBT might be able to help you to overcome this fear. The progress of healing don;t usually happen overnight. It takes a while but it will happen. Give it a thought. Praying for you.

I left an entire city because of this. :D Well not because of it but it was a perk. And then of course, the next city, started to build its own.

The only way I know is to go to the trigger place and experience the panic, and stay. Stay with it. And remember the event, fully. Let the bad experience happen fully, let it wash over you. And this will defuse it, and you will come away with some jewel of understanding that the universe (for want of a better word) was trying to teach you about life and/or human nature.

These things all contain possible lessons and understanding. Maturation is awful. Truly awful. All those awful awful feelings. Remember everyone else has them too, there is a fast track to getting through them and that's confronting them and exposing yourself to them.

And when all else fails go home, lie in bed and think about the future in, say, 10 yrs time when you won't care what happened to you now. You can do it.