The last few morning I've woken up feeling anxious. This morning I was finally able to accept, or maybe just put the obvious 2 and 2 together that it's probably related to the fact that my wife and daughter are going out of town (out of state?, out of region?) for a few days. It's nothing we haven't done before, which is probably why I was unable or unwilling to see the obvious. They are flying Southwest and with all the news about Southwest cancelling flights and having to consider that that might happen to them I noticed the faintest sense of relief when thinking their flight would be cancelled. That finally clued me in I am, in fact, anxious about them going. It's a totally normal feeling and a totally normal reaction to the situation, but, since I'm hyper-sensitive to any feeling of anxiousness, I guess I subconsicously went into denial and now that the cat is out of the bag I'm extra skittish and wary of the little beast.
So, this morning I'm working on accepting the anxious feelings... welcoming them in for a short stay, as it were. It's a hard lesson that negative feelings are as much a part, if not a bigger part, of life as the positive feelings. I can accept feeling happy. I can accept feeling numb. Feeling anxious or sad... those I still have resistance to and it makes the situation all the worse for it.
So just because the day keeps getting worse, I just found a red nodule cyst like thing on my 4 year old dogs paw. My dogs are obviously my saving grace.So now I have to just not breathe until I can get him to the vet.Make it stop, what have I done, really. It is one thing after another
I'm waiting for test results and figure itll be tommorow or the next day before I hear anything. I have had a good week now and this morning I believe I am having relapse symptoms. Same symptoms I had when this began. This morning I'm at the salon getting my hair done. It was past the point of touching up. I try to have it professionally done every 3 or 3 months and in between touch up...