Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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QPXZ 01/03/2014

My anxiety is acting up. We got a snowstorm here and tomorrow I start my seasonal job. The best part is I live about 2 blocks away and can walk. For years now I have had a coworker who is severely overweight ask me for a ride. And I have done it several times even though people say I am a fool. Her sister would drive her to and from work but she always asks coworkers for a ride. I felt bad because the sister works and has to take care of an elderly father and an obese sister. She didn't even ask me if I would drive but just emailed me what time am I gonna pick her up. I said the weather is bad and I am going to walk because the streets will be icy. She emailed back and said I guess I will find another way and who cares if I get fired.

Now my anxiety is sky high because I do not want to drive 2 blocks in the snow when I can walk. I would have to drive around looking for a spot to park. Then I feel guilty because these women are helpless but then again she cannot get around because of obesity. The reason I took this job in the first place was because I could walk there.

So I feel bad if I drive and also if I don't. I wonder how many other people in the world live 2 blocks from work and a coworker asks for rides. What would you do?

QP

LuckyEmpath 01/03/2014

What would I do? I would happily walk to work. You are not responsible for this woman - she is responsible for herself. She is an adult and, from the sound of it, a master manipulator. It is HER responsibility to get herself to work and keep her job. Not yours. You only have a responsibility to yourself (and kids if you have them).

The best way to teach a manipulator is to not let them manipulate you. Teach her a lesson. It sounds like she needs one.

Take care

deleted_user 01/03/2014

I agree with Lucky let her walk.

QPXZ 01/04/2014

Thanks. That was what I thought. I really think they should cancel today. It is training and can be done any time. It is icy out there and walking will even be scary. It takes me 5 minutes to walk there maybe more today but to drive her it is 20 minutes or more in good weather plus she doesn't like to be early. She does need a lesson.

QP

deleted_user 01/05/2014

I totally understand how you feel. However, I agree with Lucky....if you drove it may make your anxiety worse tomorrow.

QPXZ 01/06/2014

Thank You.

bingo9006 01/06/2014

Sounds like she is successfully guilting you because, being a nice person, you're having trouble saying no. When she emails just say you're planning to walk today. End of discussion. It will be hard, but you'll be doing her a favor because you will be helping her to deal with her own issues. She might be a master manipulator who manipulates kindhearted people who have trouble saying no. You don't want to be a pushover, do you? Practice in the mirror. You can do it.

ravenfish2013 01/06/2014

I would give in, because I am too nice frankly. And then, I would regret it later and be angry at myself because I should have said no. "NO" is a powerful word. I have had to learn this the hard way and I will say, using it, while yes I still have some guilt, has also lifted a lot of the stress others have tried to put onto my shoulders when in reality it was their stress to carry and not mine.

I don't know how much help this will be or even if it makes any sense, but I guess what I am trying to say is, treat yourself the best you can because the longer you continue to make excuses for other people, the more they will continue to take advantage of you. Or at least that is how it has gone in my experience.

Good luck and best wishes!!!

deleted_user 01/07/2014

I would walk to work. You are not at your coworker's beck and call and it is okay to set that boundary with her. The sooner the better.

dazedanconfusedd 01/07/2014

I am one that NEVER said NO to anybody, but when I learned how to say no once in a while, I found out who my real friends were and who was just using me for rides, or money or whatever! If I could walk to work that would be awesome.....she should take a lesson from you and walk herself, it would be good for her health too!

Be responsibile for YOU....take care of YOU...because it is YOUR LIFE! The guilty feeling does go away in time, trust me, I used to right where you are now!

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