I went through the same thing when my dogs turned 13 and they only had a short time left, it was awful so you’re not alone

Thank you for your support and understanding.

I have lost literally a couple of cats over my many years. The grief is so deep and real when that occurs. I have 3 cats, one is 16, the other two are 11.
This may be a good time to speak with your doctor or a therapist to get some help with the anticipation anxiety. You might also want to read lots of posts and replies here to try tools that others who have, and understand, anxiety have found helpful. So sorry that the time is nearing for your little best buddy to cross the Rainbow Bridge. It brings tears to my eyes. Healing hugs.

I have lots of anxiety too but one thing to remember--as long as your cat is himself and enjoying life, not to worry. I didn't know what I would do with out my tomcat who suddenly died in my hands. It was so sudden and he had not been sick. I grieved and cried. Then what? Well, we had a kitten and she could see how I felt. She comforted me. We are now really close and she kisses me every morning to wake me.
I believe the thing to do is after you lay your friend to rest, have a fresh bouquet of flowers in your house. When the flowers dry up and need to be taken out, find another cat who needs a home. You not only will have been respectful to your old cat but you will save a life of another. Those rescued animals are always so grateful and the love is unconditional. Believe me, you will not regret it. But give all the love to your friend while you can. Love is what counts, not time.

Thanks for the reply. It's hard to believe because he is not presenting as sick. I think if I keep thinking about it that it might eventually hurt less. The panic is brutal and kind of takes on a life of its own. As for seeing a doctor, I have taken medication most of my life for anxiety. It's fine for the day to day stuff but when crisis hits it seems not to help much at all. On top of everything else, the wonderful family doctor who I saw most of my life just retired and I am bet ween doctors at the moment. I probably will seek counselling. I wish I had a thicker skin. I wish I handled stuff better. I wish I wasn't so terrified of death and loss and I wish my little best buddy was young and well.

Thanks MaryContrary. Wise words indeed.

Caty, many of us here on DS are HSPs (highly sensitive people). Feel free to read about it through a search on the internet. Had always been told that, as in You're too sensitive, or emotional, etcetera. It is how some of us are built; we are just born that way. Things do hit us harder and deeper than other people. Let me know if it fits. Comforting hugs.

SimpsonOK, Wow, yes absolutely! I am 100% HSP. I never heard of the acronym before but that is definitely me! When I was a child I assumed that it was something that I would grow out of but the older I got the more sensitive I seemed to become. I seem to shoulder the weight of the world. I am devastated by anything bad that happens to animals and I can't put the feelings aside at all. I guess I am an empath too and I pick up on other people's energies whether I want to or not. It's draining. My mother, whom I love dearly, gets really frustrated with me. She says I should never have pets if I can't handle it. I guess I kind of think it's the price I pay for loving so much. I can't imagine hurting less than this really. God, I wish I could. Every day I see people's posts on Facebook about the loss of a pet or a family member and it seems like a few days later the same person has a really happy post and I cannot imagine being able to bounce back like that! Wow, yes HSP for sure! Thank you for understanding.

Caty, knowing that is who we are doesn't change it, but for me, it helped to know that was an intrinsic, born with, part of who I am. We can't do it different, and as you said, we don't grow out of it. Also gives us a special kind of communication with animals, not just our own pets. Glad my share helped you. Hugs.

About a year or so ago, my cat died very suddenly in his sleep. He was a relatively young cat and he wasn't overtly ill (in retrospect, I do believe he had a hidden heart problem), and I was freaking devastated when I woke up and he was just... gone. He was the sweetest cat in the entire world and he absolutely adored me, too. If I think of him and what happened too much, even now, the ol' waterworks will open up.

It sucks, and it is undoubtedly painful, but always try to remember that you made his life the happy, loving life that makes letting go so hard.

Also, I am a HSP myself. I found that out several years ago now from a workbook about it, of all places. It's part of the reason I don't expect a lot of people to understand me - last I read, only about 20% of people share this trait. It's difficult to understand and it's difficult to explain it to someone who may not ever be able to relate to it. I've always been sensitive to my environment, to noise, to my intuition and to the feelings of other people. It's worth it to find a way to turn it into your strength rather than allowing people to exploit it as a weakness. You have a beautiful connection to a rich inner world that few others in this life get to experience, and a connection to people and emotions that can do a lot of good in the world.

I'm sorry that anxiety and depression end up being byproducts of it for a lot of us.

You can ground yourself and enjoy the time you still have with your cat now. I know it's hard but try not to waste another of the precious moments you still have now worrying about the eventuality.

i have GAD,, my doctor told me,, It stands for general anxiety disorder. i know what the triggers are, since im a very passionate woman things tend to bother me easy, the trigger is stress,, thats what brings the anxiety,, i lost pets have a pet cemetery in my old back yard, cats dogs they are there. but really dear the most stressful situation of all is watch your mate die, oh god hope that never happens to you, its worse then watching any group of cats dogs fish birds whatever all die at the same time. just be thankful you have your hubby and this cat for many years no need to make it anymore stressfull then it is. believe me it could be much much worse. make life easier for all and be cool , your hubby will thank you and really the cat will to. he can feel what you feel trust me on this

Thank you rosecandy. Reading your post gives me the idea that I may try to find a good article on HPS for my husband and mother to read. I really feel like it would help them understand me a little better. I agree with the importance of grounding myself but I find it extremely difficult. I have an amazing 7 year old daughter who helps me to stay in the moment a little because I don't want to miss a single moment with her, but it is hard. I woke up yesterday in really major panic and I actually managed to get it together to have a nice father's day with my family. My little girl said it was the best day. My husband lost his dad three years ago and I know he feels the pain every day even though he handles it well. I have to find the strength to be there for them but it's hard and when panic takes over, with a mind and agenda of it's own, it feels impossible. One day at a time.

AnnieToman, I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for your reply and perspective. Point well taken. I suppose that adds to my anxiety and panic really because I think, how could I possibly manage if I lost my husband, my mom, my child? My husband says I'm up on 10 when I should be at a 5 and I get that. I really do. Over the past year I watched my neighbor and family friend loose her husband to cancer and I just can't imagine. I can't. I just really and truly feel unequipted to deal. I don't understand how people get through stuff like that.

I have had many cats, dogs, a bunny rabbit and fish. Each one was a treasure. They are family. Love your little treasure like you have been every day. Day by day. He may be around longer than the vet thinks. When it is time for them to leave, I tell myself that we were only given them for a short while. It is painful, very painful to lose them but know that you gave them the best life possible. Know that without you, they may not have had this wonderful life.
Hugs to you dear animal friend

Hey, maybe we need a site for HSPs? That sets us up for so many other disorders. We know we feel differently from others, and I have found few who just accept it, although many appreciate our somehow knowing what they are feeling. Hugs to all.