I get this a lot. I am a single dad of four and when I do communicate with others, its like i forgot how to communicate and I always say something wrong. I seem to be able to write things out better then I can speak or so it seems.

Yes, I do. I am new here, just getting ready to do my first post and saw your post..I feel that way all the time

Many many years of experience continuously battling those thoughts. I even did it today..., I’m a work in progress still. I was raised to always see the other person’s side of things, put their feelings first, so it can be a very difficult struggle for me to deal with feeling upset or angry at others who say something that upsets me. It turns into a war between guilt and anger, generally guilt wins. This year I finally started learning to embrace my negative emotions, quit blaming myself for misunderstanding or over reacting. I finally quit the internal verbal wars, just accepted I was angry, I had a right to be, I accepted the person said something that offended me and quit making excuses for them and why I was the one taking it the wrong way. I got tired of apologizing because it took a good while to realize I was getting walked all over, accepting it.

But it comes & goes. I now let myself vent my anger, in safe productive ways like writing, taking my paintball gun & shooting up the side of the garage, stomp on a innocent bag of crackers (don’t ask..., just know it works & that’s good enough for me). I mainly use writing though to get a little closure and to silence the internal arguments. I create a story where I can say all the things I want to say but are too polite to in real life, and basically unload in an imaginary world made of paper. It’s also taught me a lot on why I had gotten so upset to begin with, because unleashing that anger & resentment on paper fully becomes a kind of flood of everything I’ve been bottling up for years. It give me a little insight & clarity into why & if I was emotionally over reacting or not.

You’re not alone. I think to some degree everyone does it. We all have the right to feel how we feel. It is how we act upon it that gets tricky.

Hugs & support.

You're definitely not alone. Dealt with stress and anxiety for years. In my case it was often recurring thoughts that would increase my anxiety in a vicious loop. When I learned to catch the thoughts on the go and change the direction of my focus, everything started to look different!
It's a hard one, but you're definitely not alone!!

The damaged self-esteem which makes me believe I don't deserve the positive emotions will let me have all the negative emotions I can handle. Girl howdy, I can self-flagellate like a mad dog while I am working to keep my *stupid* mouth shut.

You are not the only one. When it happens to me I just remind myself that I can not control the way I feel. I can control my attitude never my feelings. And yes, we are entitled to all feelings in the world. We are human! We feel! Best wishes

I'm sure we have all felt that we may have overreacted in some situations. I can't think of a case where I thought I wasn't "entitled" to my feelings. I do process (particularly negative ones) situaions repeatedly in my mind to determine if my responses were appropriate for the situation which to me seems like more of a learning or development porcess.

Outwardly if someone says, stop crying, stop looking so mad... I can dish it and stick up for myself and say, screw you! I'm allowed to be mad! I don't owe you anything and this is how I feel!

But I still am insecure and have no self esteem... I believe I am worthless and sound un intelligent... And my body isn't "good" enough, whatever that means.

Work on feeling your emotions and learn how to show anger to whoever tells you youre not allowed to feel. It's not their right to tell you how to feel like you. Even if that inner voice is hushing your feelings, make it stop. Feel the sadness. Feel the anxiety. When it's over you will be stronger.

Maybe put aside each day a time to feel your emotions... Anxiety.. Sadness.. Fear... Think about it for a while.. Then try and move about your day.