i used to post on the depression forum & recently I got a comment to a desperate post that basically said that I was sicker than sick & they hoped I could pay for the help I need. Anyway that’s what I heard. I thought about it I admit but decided it seemed a tad abusive so I deleted all my posts there..
the thing with me is I always think I did or said something that totally pissed people off & I don’t know it because I’m truly delusional
social anxiety on top of the countless other disorders I’m diagnosed with. You think?
i have no friends. I’m in the midst of a breakdown that’s been going on for years but has still not passed.So I had this one good friend who came back into my life after my 5 year sojourn of trying to fine my place. Now I’m back home & we’ve been hanging out & out of no where she sort of ghosted me. I ve gotten in touch asked about her health her family blah blah. ( she is not one to keep her complaints to herself & I say that with love. Told her I miss hanging out. She’s always polite but that’s it. So again ....what did I do?
Despite a bad relationship with klonopin years ago my new dr prescribed Valium. The relief is palpable. I try to take it responsibly I really do but I just realized I have 3 sleep aids in my body & im still awake. Progress not perfection.
Still. My depression is deep. I’ve had some dark days but “ resting” for 5 months now. I have episodes with my family in which I cannot understand why I’m the only one who I think is being reasonable. But it’s 4 against 1 so I lose.
About 25 years ago I was involved w a theater group & made some nice friendships & we’ve seen each other over from time to time but not for years. Of course this does leak into the members of the theater groups I worked with when my mania was in full swing & I ripped through everything & everyone like the 50 foot woman
sorry so long but here it is. Right bf I disabled my FB I learned a member I worked with had died & there is a memorial celebration at a local pub tomorrow night. ( wed the 3rd)I told myself I wasn’t going. Bought a dress & shoes & said I wasn’t going. Checked the “going” box. So. There will be people I’d love to see. There will be people who I don’t & vice versa. There will be mostly people I don’t even know
i will take a Valium but I promise I will not drink. Should I go? I can always leave. I can sit back & listen & be mysterious. Why am I so over the top again anxious about to go or not to go. My dad said to go or I’d regret it after. Am I a social pariah?Will I be a victim of playing the night over in my head wondering if I acted alright? Omg is this normal? Would you go?
I've been through a really hard month, there was a cancer scare recently with my daughter, we had to go through several tests, still isn't completely ruled out, we have to go back in 3 months, People acting like shit where I work, I'm trying to shut out the negativity, but of course with all this shit going on, I missed an important meeting this morning, and have been given "busy" work as a...
I have struggled with anxiety on and off since I was a teenager...as an adult, the occasions became more frequent. However, the last year and a half it feels like I'm getting lost in it. Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting to breathe because I'm being crushed and suffocated under all of the uncontrollable feelings of dread for what may happen. Rationally, I know that these are all "what ifs" and...