Hang in there Deborah48, you are doing a magnificent job. Sometimes we just need to relax, but its hard to find the time for ourselves. What has got you all fired up! I am here if you need.

I was just sitting here thinking the EXACT same thing. I'm tired...
I'm tired of doing this... I'm just tired.

I was thinking about how I had looked forward to my retirement.. all the things I wanted to do, places I wanted to go, things I wanted to
try. But here I sit in this prison .. changing Depends .

So much friggin' fun we're all having. I received a message from one of my dearest friends over the weekend. She just retired at 70. She says she's having so much fun she doesn't have time to fit it all in.....
I was happy for her on one hand but so jealous on the other.

Yeah, book me a seat on that "so tired" train too. I think one of the hardest parts of this, besides just watching someone you've loved so long waste away, is hearing all the happy news from friends and relatives who are out enjoying their lives and doing all the things they planned on while your sitting here knowing that all the things you two planned are not ever going to happen.
Once they are gone we may get out and do things, go places and visit friends and move on with our lives but it will never be the same because we won't be doing any of it with them.
I feel especialy bad for Neal because his family never traveled or went anywhere while he was growing up so he'd put all his dreams into what we would do when our land was paid off, kids were grown and we had no bills. Now we are right on the edge of that all being true and he has alzheimers and the furture is so uncertain.

Exactly. I've beens single for 15 years and made such great plans for when I retire. Travel! I can travel on a shoe string. I too ache for those of you who can't fulfill the dreams you and your husbands made for "later" While my husband was in Viet Nam, it made me heartsick to see young couples together having such a good time while I was in enforced singledom. Something much like those feelings I had then must be what you're going through.
I simply deal with the green eyed monster and that I can put at bay with a good bout of exercise.

That's basically it, I'm just frustrated by my life being on 'hold', "oh, well, I'd like to do that but I can't......"

There are so many things I want to do and I just simply can't not even do little things anymore- even just cleaning the house is a big deal now because of his shadowing and his paranoia. AAAAAHHH!

It's hard watching them shrink before your eyes . All of the fun things we used to do are nothing but a faded memory .
I'm tired of being tired and I don't want to do this any more.
I don't want to change Depends,pick food up off the floor or make all of the decisions
I am just damn plain tired.

I was there, stressed, irratiable, tired, a worn out zombie. Negative thoughts filled my brain. I could see why ppl put there family members in a home. This a long rough road to travel. Nobody will think bad of any of you, (if you the nursing home is the way for you). I am proud of everyone here, and anyone who at least trys. We are humans that have been thrown into the deep end.......I myself have rid my negative thoughts from my brain and have lined up for that long long long sad sad journey. I do hope you are all ok :)

I hear you! I am going absolutely nuts!

For the most part I'm doing better mentaly and I think all the time I spend on FB is a big part of the reason why. I get to talk to people from all over the world and act silly and have fun there, still can't beat coming here though when you just need to vent or talk about the heavy stuff most others can't understand.
I've also started looking forward to the future, don't know when it will arrive but am slowly making plans for the time when Neal is no longer with me and for the first time in many years I find myself excited about things at least part of the time.

My God. My boyfriend is going through the same thing, taking care of his dad, tired all the time. We just had a fight because of him constantly being stuck on Facebook. And I just realized this is his "getaway." I was jealous of all the people on there and how he was acting all silly, but never understood how he must have been feeling until I saw this post.

It is tiring seeing your BF with his life on hold, your life on hold, everything you ever hoped for being on hold, and then seeing him so tired whenever he is around you (and his dad) but so happy whenever he is with a bunch of friend online while at work.

I know I should be more understanding, but I dont know how. And now I feel guilty. I feel for all of you :'(

Often fatigue is a symptom of depression. If he is depressed because of the situation he may need medical attention.

And, yes, FB is an escape for some.. and can be a stress
reliever from his situation.

Good luck to you and your BF... and bless you for understanding
his situation.

Guess everyone needs to do what they can to feel at peace with their loved one. But sometimes a caregiver gets at their ropes end and it starts to affect them mentally and physcially too.

One day I called my sister on my lunch hour. She was the caregiver of my dad with alzheimers and she told me she was sick of him not wanting to take a shower so she sprayed him all down with Lysol !!! I went crazy at her----not long after that he ended up in the hospital with surgery and I flew the 1800 miles to be with them. I persuaded her to put him in a nursing home from there. She went to see him often but I could also see it was taking it's toll on her big time and even though she tried her best she just could not handle it any longer.

So I don't think anyone needs to feel "guilty" for admitting they have had enough and can't do it any longer. It is not different than if your loved one had a physical illness and you had to put him in the hospital. I am just explaining our situation and realize each and everyone of you are doing your best to care for your loved one. You are truly an amazing bunch of ladies.......((hugs to all)).

hi you all

Jim has been getting on the floor and can't (or won't) get up. He slept in a chair last night and when I tried to change him, he laid down on the floor and hasn't gotten up all day. He has vomited twice and won't eat.

Things seem to be going downhill really fast. Once we get him up on his feet, he will walk, but he has to be pulled up and I can't do it alone because this is the weekend and I don't have help on weekends. But I will have by next weekend. It is just waaaaaaaaay too much to handle alone. I've had him at the Emergency room twice in a week and had to call the rescue squad twice to get him off the floor (think they are getting a little tired of me).He was very dehydrated and had to have IVs.

Never a dull moment at our house. And yes, Deb, I'm getting f*****g tired of the whole situation too.

Wondering when and if things will ever get better. Hang in there you all.

((((Hugs))))

Oh Boxermom,
Your week has been awful. You need hugs !
I haven't experienced not being able to get Ron up.. but sometimes
it takes me 20 minutes or so to get him up.

We are all charter members of the " ISFT"... club..

I swear every bone and muscle in my body hurts today.