Ice cream cuts the urge for a drink in half (same sugar) You will surrender for real eventually but first you must hit that point of incomprehesible demoralization. When you get there you will not be able to pick up a drink again for a LONG time. Hang in there and get to some meetings.

What does the term 'hole in the soul' mean to you? Do you think you have that?

What will it take for YOU to start your recovery process from this deadly disease?

no, there is no pill, sweetheart and once i felt like you. some days i am so filled with doubt i'm back that place. this disease doesn't care how smart you are, what accomplishments you have, who depend on you, how difficult your history has already been. it takes no prisoners (maybe for a short time) but it will kill every one of us eventually. knowledge will not change a thing. go to aa and explore other means and build yourself a network of people who know you, are you, and have found a new life and a new serenity. hope is not lost. we, for example, are here for you. devon

You sound like me, word for word. I think we make things too complicated. We are alcoholics...in most cases, willpower is not enough. I finally got help from my doctor to get sober. You have to surrender and stay that way...remind yourself constantly through prayer, meditation, meetings, or whatever works for you that you CANNOT drink. Remember the last time you were drunk and how awful you felt about it. Keep that always fresh in your mind. Start to look at life's blessings. When we are so deep in addiction, we fail to see the beauty of things, but it's there, it's all around us, just waiting for us to take it in and appreciate it. You have to refocus, change your way of thinking. There is not one among us that doesn't have the chance to recover, no matter how bad our situation is. You can do this, and if you need help along the way, send me a message...like I said before, I can completely relate to where you are right now and would be more than happy to share some words of wisdom that worked for me along my journey. Take care.

Your first step is admitting you are powerless. Until you do this, your recovery process will not begin. Go to a meeting and listen.

tonight when you wake up at 3am, talk to a power greater than yourself. Ask for help...if only to say "help me not drink today" If you do not believe in God, find your own conception of ANYTHING higher than you. When I was 1st getting sober I had a hard time with that one until i put it really simple, If there is nothing higher than me, we are in trouble....

The point is, you are not alone, you do not have to do this alone.

There was another gentleman on here a while back that just overanalyzed everything. Maybe you need to be done wondering all the why's and maybe's and just jump in with both feet. Any result would be better than being drunk every day. You can always change your mind. AA would be a huge start, but any decision would be better than none.

my name is joe drinking about50 beers a week and going up killed 28 at the weekend bought 6pack on Sunday and so happy when i found a beer in the fridge giving me 7 drank 4 and this morning pored three down the sink here goes again I must give up for the sake of my Grandaughter it is starting to get a hold of me I will drink in the morning if I can.Find myself sneaking emptys out and sneaking beer in so no one suspects how much I am drinking.I usualy find about day 6 or 7 I go into an uncontrolable urge for beer and can usualy convince myself that two beers cant do any harm and then the cycle starts again.Please pray that I can do it this time................Joe

Not the best, not the worst, just another person who when they drink, they get thirsty.
Even if there was a pill that would stop me drinking alcoholicly I would drink like that anyway. I never saw the point of beating around the bush, if I was gonna drink, I drank to get drunk. Never understood it, just did it. I thoughtt I was nuts, lol. Went to AA and found out I was a drunk, got some help and didn't have to stop alone.

I HAD COME TO JUST HAVING ENOUGH OF IT...HIT THE DITCH WITH NO WHERE TO GO...ALSO STARTED WORKING ON WHY I WAS DRINKING AND WHAT I WAS TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM. WITH AA,NA AND PSYCHIATRIST AND MOST OF ALL MY HIGHER POWER I AM CLEAN AND SOBER OVER 11 YEARS NOW...NO PILL NO SIMPLE STEP JUST HARD WORK...
ALL THE BEST..
LEANNNAPLES

peachybum,....what exactly do you mean, when you say "sometimes i do truely surrender..."? Explain to me what exactly "surrendering" means to you? Do you still hang around those who drink? Do you still frequent wet places? Have you looked into Rehab? Every state has funding in place for addicts with no insurance or money. I had no insurance, and no money. I entered the ER for the 7th time due to delirium tremens and panic attacks/seizures and the substance abuse doctor there came down on me hard. He said "Enough excuses,..you have excuse, that I do not have a remedy for" I tried telling him I had no money.....he said I will get you state funding. I told him I had to med. insurance. He ,again, said "State funding"...I tried telling him I cant leave my cat alone for a month. He talked to my neighbors for me and they said they would watch my cat. I told him I cant get out of my lease (to move back in with my parents)....he told me he could get me out of my lease via a medical excuse,...which he did. There wasnt an excuse that he didnt have an answer for. I'd hit'em over the net, and he'd hit'em right back. Making excuses to NOT get help when its obvious that you arent doing it on your own is just a way of telling yourself that you arent ready to stop drinking yet. As long as there are still things you will not try to get sober,...then you havent truely surrendered. You cannot get sober if you begin by listing the things you will not,..or can not try. You MUST be open to ANYTHING that will save your life. Because,...make no mistake,....this WILL take your life eventually.....and NOT before, first, destroying it.

peachybum,....what exactly do you mean, when you say "sometimes i do truely surrender..."? Explain to me what exactly "surrendering" means to you? Do you still hang around those who drink? Do you still frequent wet places? Have you looked into Rehab? Every state has funding in place for addicts with no insurance or money. I had no insurance, and no money. I entered the ER for the 7th time due to delirium tremens and panic attacks/seizures and the substance abuse doctor there came down on me hard. He said "Enough excuses,..you have no excuse, that I do not have a remedy for" I tried telling him I had no money.....he said I will get you state funding. I told him I had no med. insurance. He ,again, said "State funding"...I tried telling him I cant leave my cat alone for a month. He talked to my neighbors for me and they said they would watch my cat. I told him I cant get out of my lease (to move back in with my parents)....he told me he could get me out of my lease via a medical excuse,...which he did. There wasnt an excuse that he didnt have an answer for. I'd hit'em over the net, and he'd hit'em right back. Making excuses to NOT get help when its obvious that you arent doing it on your own is just a way of telling yourself that you arent ready to stop drinking yet. As long as there are still things you will not try to get sober,...then you havent truely surrendered. You cannot get sober if you begin by listing the things you will not,..or can not try. You MUST be open to ANYTHING that will save your life. Because,...make no mistake,....this WILL take your life eventually.....and NOT before, first, destroying it.

One drink is too many.
A thousand is never enough.

Hey stop giving your self a hard time, we have all be were you are and no there no magic pill you take trust if there were i would of took it, but there aint. You can do it.

Try antabuse. It will make you sick if you drink. Not that that will stop you. If you want to drink, you will drink. I guess you need to figure out why you keep doing it. If it is not a physical thing, you must dig deep and be honest. As crazy as this sounds I liked getting loaded even when it wasn't fun any more. It was my best and worst friend. Ask G-d to remove the desire. Continue to talk about it and share it with others. Then, it becomes others problem as well and together you will defeat the compulsion. You will be in my prayers.