Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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when life is more then we can bare.

Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I guess most of you know by now that I am going through a nasty divorce, and that's not the half of it!

I made one more meeting this week and plan to go to more. The words I hear often have no affect, going in one ear and out the other. I am slowly losing my interest in things and ultimately in life in general.

I am so use to being a nice guy but now now I am being taken advantage of because of my big heart. In order to get what I deserve in the divorce settlement, I have to go back to being the A hole, I was when I was drinking. But I don;t want to and I don't know any other way.

My sponser said if I can make it through this, I can make it through anything. He also said to bend over and take it like a man! How humiliating!

I want a drink so bad!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hang in there, buddy. I'll send a prayer your way
deleted_user
deleted_user
Do what you have to do, Bob. There are plenty of people who have been in your shoes and gotten through it. Sober. Reach out to them.

Things could always be worse. You've got your health, right? Be thankful for something.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I went through a divorce too and it was hell! I was ready to blow my head off! But I got through it and I relapsed a few times through the whole thing and that did not help matters one bit. In fact i gave my ex more ammo to work with. But in the end I got my daughter and my car and that was all I wanted anyway. I signed the house over to him and a few months later he lost it thrugh forclosure. You will get through it. Don't drink because it don't make it easier! I know how you feel. Keep it simply like a business deal. Try to keep the emotion out of it! Hard to do but that was the advice I was given. Good luck and someday soon you'll look back and wonder how you did it but you will!
ScarletAngel
ScarletAngel
I think somewhere in the BB or 12&12 it says we don't bow and scrape before anyone. I think that applies to divorce settlements. Just make sure that what you think you "deserve" is actually what you earned.
paulokes
paulokes
Hey Bob,

I remember not too long ago, getting stuck into the idea that I don't have to be a nice guy, and that doesn't necessarily mean being a nasty guy. In some ways, they were two sides of the same coin for me.

Sure you'll get through this anyway - reach out if you need it.

P
gr8ful2b
gr8ful2b
Bob, you say you've been in AA for a few years now. If you want to drink, now is the time to call your sponsor or another sober friend, dontcha think?
Community LeaderExJerseyGirl2
ExJerseyGirl2
You can stand up for yourself without being an a-hole. Don't let her walk all over you.

You are a good guy, and it is okay to not give in to her demands, but to push back. She is the one who decided to cheat and walk away.

Take care of you -- NO DRINKING, okay? Even if you lose everything, keep your sobriety. It is yours. you earned it. You deserve it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Coming from experience, drinking won't help. If a divorce is the best of your problems, consider yourself grateful
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Thanks for your responses. I keep in touch with my sponser daily but often feel like I need more support then what he is able to give and that is why I am here.
deleted_user
deleted_user
bob, why not hit meetings? I have hit up to 4 a day before
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Yea I know I have to get to more meetings. My average use to be one a week but I increased it to 2. Going to try to do 3 this week.
Transportation is a slight problem but I can get rides to some. Thanks!
gjm
gjm
Just a thought might want to check your spiritual condition Bob.

As far as being taken advantage of might what to ask yourself are ya victim or a volunteer?
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Gim.....I had to think about that one....I guess I'm a volunteer! Interesting! Why am I so stupid?
gjm
gjm
Bob, the way I see it as long as ya don't take that 1st drink you have many choices at your disposal. Its up to you and no one else how it plays out.

I've been reading your journals since your issue at hand started and I can't relate to your actions but that's just me. I do remember about a month ago when someone posted they relapsed on here and you commented "whats wrong with you man" and that's what came to mind with your deal. Not judging just an observation.
gr8ful2b
gr8ful2b
bob, I've seen you helping others on different boards on DS. Before helping others, shouldn't you be helping yourself?

I hope you get the support YOU need right now. Godspeed, Dianna

And I agree with rummy. Mo' meetings, mo' meetings, mo' meetings!
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