Hang in there! It's great that you are reaching out for help. You are not alone! Have you heard of The Treatment Center? They could provide you resources and recommendations on how to get the support you need. Lmk if you want more info. Do you have any hobbies? I've found being outside or being creative helps me.

mommato2lilmonkeys

Hello ccfactor789,

First of all, welcome to the forum. Although you cannot see a way out right now, there is in fact a great chance of a bright future ahead.

There are reasons why you drink in the way that you do and a good starting point is to understand those reasons. I am in a rush right not and do not have time to go into details but if you read back over past threads here on the forum you will get the idea. You are also welcome to send me a private message at any time.

Once you understand the nature of the problem you can start looking at a solution and there are various options open to you. Not having transportation is difficult but if you did manage to get to a few of those distant AA meetings you may find that there are people there from your neighbourhood who would be willing to give you a ride to the meetings.

The one thing that I cannot emphasise strongly enough is that THERE IS HOPE FOR YOU.

You can go on to lead a normal life without alcohol but it will take a bit of work on your part.

@dancingsunflower80

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I have not heard of the Treatment Center, but I will check it out right now.

As far as hobbies go, I play acoustic, electric and bass guitars, play video games, watch anime, and write short stories I used to play tennis, but cannot find anyone with which to play and, that is about it. I am open to new things, but I cannot seem to focus on hobbies enough to get or keep my mind off of hitting the bottle.

What kinds of outdoorsy and creative things do you do?

@PJ54

Thank you for the support. Lately, it has just been really tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am hoping to find much support from these discussion posts and will check out past threads.

I have tried to understand what makes me want to drink, but have had no luck. If you find the time, I would really appreciate your insight on common reasons and how to go about finding them out.

I did recently start hanging out with a friend whose boyfriend goes to AA a few towns north of me. I will ask her if I could tag along the next time they go to a meeting.

I think I can safely say...what makes you want to drink is the "alcoholic" addiction you possibly have.

Normal drinkers don't focus too much on how much they do or don't drink.

When alcohol starts affecting your daily life or any part of your being...it is a "problem".

I started with counseling...when I was young for it...but there was no quick fix for me. I had to come to a place where I was sick of being sick before I would stop and that took many years.

You can stop it before you get to that point with some will power and some possibly AA...or EMDR therapy....

You will hear over and over again....alcohol leads to 3 places..jails, institutions and death. I laughed that off at your age thinking....ok....not for everyone! YES for everyone.

If we continue to drink our world becomes more distorted and disruptive. You are losing your family...that wasn't enough for me...the threat of losing my kids or job was not enough for me.

I just kept drinking. Its great you are realizing you have a problem. You also realize how HARD it is to just stop. But, it is possible...if you set your mind to it, keep busy, replace the time of the day that you drink with something else. There (IMO) always has to be a replacement.

My replacement was instead of stopping at liquor store I went straight to Dunkin Donuts and got a coffee. I maintained a period of sobriety for 8 years..with a little AA, counseling and changing habits and the way I thought about myself and others.

Someone said it...it is WORK. I wish you the best...keep posting.....I hope you find your WAY to do whatever works to keep you away from a drink.

There was a young girl in one of my "recovery" classes....that drank just ONE MORE TIME.....and ended up in a car accident which killed 2 old ladies....she got 25 years in prison. It happens quickly - the destruction. Get Scared Straight if you have to....It can happen to you.

I am sorry you have reached the bottom. I have heard it said that when you do reach the bottom, the only way to go is up. Maybe it is a good thing you are here, so you can start again. I think you are on the right track friend. I see that Missy 2 recommended counseling. Do you think that would be helpful? Can you choose one thing each day to focus on? I am praying for you!
-notautomatic-

@Misssy2

I am certain it is not an addiction; I do not have an addictive personality. I could quit any day, any time, anywhere but, I do not want to (well, did not want to now, I do want to re-joining Daily Strength is my outreach for support).

The only reason I keep going back to the bottle is because of one of the three things you said drinking leads to. It might be selfish I know but life just feels more and more meaningless each and every day that is why I am reaching out now as a cry for help.

Drinking has not affected any aspect of my daily life. I still wake up at the same time each morning, I go to bed at the same time each night, I go to work on time every day, I put 150% effort into my job, and I do not drink before I go to work.

I have tried many manners of support counseling, online support groups, etc but I always end up retreating to my burrow. Nothing seems to work. Now, I am looking for other ways people have conquered this demon. If nothing more, I just need someone to shove me, to tell me to stay away from the bottle when I feel the need to go back to it counselors and the like are good as an outlet for discussing problems and as an inlet for methods of making it over hurdles. I do not need that. I need someone to slap me if I say I feel like drinking, I need someone I can call at any time I need support I need a friend someone who understands what I am going through and someone to whom I can relate.

@LisaBT

Thank you for the supportive comment. I am hoping I can find my way back up from the bottom. Re-joining Daily Strength is me reaching out to find what it is I know I need to get out of this rut.

I have tried counseling, but counselors, for me, are only good as outlets for my problems and inlets for possible solutions. What I need is something more personal someone there to push me to not drink, to give me a kick if I feel like drinking a counselor can only scold you for not following through on your plans; they cannot be that extra shove to prevent it from happening (or, that is all I managed to get from counselors). I really just need a friend to whom I can relate and who understands what I am going through. I would try AA, but the closest group to me is in a very bad neighborhood. But, I am going to see about tagging along with one of my friends and her boyfriend to their next AA meeting a few towns north of me.

As for choosing one thing to focus on doing each day that sounds very doable. I will pick a task each night and, if I feel like drinking the next day, I will just do that task. That could be a great start to finding more methods to recovery. Thanks for the suggestion. :)

Hello again ccfactor789,

Several years ago now I was drinking heavily every day and had lost all hope for the future. I did not want to stop drinking but knew that I had to if I wanted to keep breathing. When I tried to stop I found that I could not and besides, I strongly believed that I could not live life or have any enjoyment at all without alcohol. I was completely wrong on all counts but that was my reality at the time and nothing would convince me otherwise. Yet today, I do not think about drinking and live life to the full. You too can turn your life around as many others have done and live happily without alcohol.

The first step on the road to recovery is to understand the exact nature of the problem. Then you can decide whether you are prepared to accept the reality of where you are and do what you need to do or if you are going to ignore reality and continue on the downward slope.

You have tried to understand what makes you want to drink and there is a simple explanation. When you started out you used alcohol as a coping mechanism and alcohol does help to restore balance when emotions are out of synch. However, for a percentage of drinkers (something like one in ten) this type of cure actually becomes the problem. For these people, drinking becomes an obsession of the mind. The message in the head changes from A few drinks would help me with this to I cant do this without a few drinks. It looks like drinking has become an obsession for you.

The second thing that happens to this minority of drinkers is that a change occurs in the way that the body processes alcohol. They develop an abnormal reaction to alcohol and this is sometimes compared to an allergy. However, whereas someone with an allergy to strawberries may break out in a skin rash after eating the fruit, this allergy gives a different reaction it produces a craving in the body for more alcohol. Therefore, when a person who has developed this abnormal reaction takes one drink he or she will immediately crave more alcohol. Each drink increases the craving and no matter how many drinks are taken there will be a craving for more. It looks as if you have developed this abnormal reaction to alcohol.

The good news is that the craving for more cannot develop if the first drink is avoided and that is why I stated in the previous post that there is hope for you. If you do not take the first drink you will again experience a craving for alcohol. That brings us back to the obsession that drives you to take that first drink and whether or not you are prepared to do what it takes to remove the obsession. Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic but if think you are, after considering the information above, the reality is that you cannot use alcohol safely and your only option is total abstinence.

This is where the arguments and disagreements often start as there are probably several ways of dealing with the obsession. For some people it is enough to just quit drinking and the greater the time since their last drink the weaker the obsession gets. For others, quitting is the easy part but staying sober for the long term can be extremely challenging. Still other will manage to quit and stay sober for many years but they are engaged in a constant battle with alcohol, with other people and with the world in general and their lives are far from happy.

The AA approach to sobriety concentrates on dealing with past issues such as resentment, fear, guilt and remorse etc. and being willing to put right the harm that was done to other people. When the mind is free from this type of negative thinking there is room for more positive things. Dealing with the past lifts a heavy weight from the shoulders and opens up the path to freedom. It is a way of living that offers endless possibilities and a chance to live life to the full.

Now you know something about alcoholism and you can decide if your drinking fits the description. If you decide to quit drinking it may be possible to do it without AA. The important thing is to quit for today rather than thinking too far ahead. If you also desire a life beyond your wildest dreams, you may wish to look more closely at the AA programme of recovery but that is for another day. Right now, meetings will help.

Check out the video at the link below as it explains alcoholism very well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pVBDQPC2XQ

Quitting alcohol is not a sad thing, it is a positive thing.
There are other ways than just AA. Coming here is a good start.
Alcohol is lies. U consume it and 'supposedly' it brings all these great wonderful times, but slowly but surely, it brings U down, just like where U are now.
U asked for suggestions:
The Easy Way To Quit Drinking by Allen Carr. Someone was kind enough to suggest it to me and it changed my view on booze.
Booze will be a turn off and will no longer appeal to U.
He makes several books, but that's the one you want.
Welcome...

I was not addicted to booze either. I was addicted to the relief I obtained from booze

Alcohol is but a symptom of the problem. It's the ic's and isms

You say you need someone to slap you and say something. Here We tend to coddle and be easy with newbs. I disagree. If you wish to get sober you need to find a room of Aa and go only on the days of the week you were drinking. If you don't have an addiction why do you join an alcoholism board ( again) ? One word DENIAL It's possible to get to a point where you don't need booze to cope. It took a sht ton of work , and I waS scared, but I was willing to do whatever it took to plug the jug

Stop making excuses and start making progress
1is2many

Direct quote
(still do hate it), but it is the only place I can find solace. I have become dependent on it... so much so that I have not been able to go a single day in the past 6 months without getting trashed to the point of passing out or, even worse, blacking out.

I used to drink up to 24 drinks a day. I was always on at work and also a good family man. But I drank from 5-11 every day. My last drink was June 9 2015. I have found a way to cope thruAA

I hope you can too.
1-2

I wish you could edit. 2013... But the only day that matters is today

I hope you don't take offense to this because I am just being the devils advocate. It doesn't sound like you are ready to quit yet. The drinking doesn't seem to interfere with your life in any negative way. You have no problems at work and you have no problems with sleep. You want someone to beg you not to drink because you say you can't handle life at times. Believe me, you are no different then anyone else. Life is not easy for anybody!

In my case, I didn't get help until I lost my job, lost my wife, lost my friends, went bankrupt, and pretty much lost everything that mattered the most to me! I reached a point where I didn't want to live anymore! My wife kicked me out of the house and I wouldn't leave because I had no place to go so she calls the cops and I was offered detox or jail so I took detox and that was the best decision, although a drunk one, that I ever made!

From detox, I entered into an IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) where I was taught coping skills and was treated for the issues which predisposed me to drinking such as ptsd and depression.
After the 3 week IOP, I went into relapse prevention, group counseling where I started building my support network and I also learned what my triggers were and how to deal with them. Throughout all of the treatment I received, AA meeting attendance was a requirement and today....7 years later, I still attend them. I continue to live my life by the 12 steps and I have never been happier!

I am not saying that the path I took on my road to recovery will help you but I am saying it helped me and has helped many others before me, but the choice is yours.

In the meantime, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless!

Not sure where you live but every town I've visited, and even most international locations, have had meetings with a short drive or walk,
If you want to go to aa call the local aa chapter and see what they suggest. Many will offer rides.