Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hello all,
I have gone from "I have a problem, I am completely fucked up" - to "well, I'm not that bad, maybe I can just moderate" - to - "maybe I can be dry for a few days, and then give myself a break" - to "I have no clue what to do."
Sound familiar?
So, I'm doing a progress update with myself. This is what I have learned so far. Posting because it may help someone else.
1. I am fairly certain that I don't have the "gene" or whatever that makes me go crazy the minute alcohol touches my lips. I have an issue with impulse control - yes - but it's not hard-wired in my brain. However, I do routinely drink MORE than I had planned, unless I have an "outside" obligation (e.g., I must drive someplace or talk to someone).
2. I can, and I have, given up alcohol for extended periods. Cutting out is much easier than cutting back. But I always, always, always come back. So far in my life, anyway.
3. I enjoy drinking in moderation.
4. I am not ready to give up alcohol once and for all time. Yet.
5. I need to really monitor my health and well-being. That's the main reason why I'm here. I'm not a pass-out drunk. I've never done jail time or lost a job. I'm "just" taking years off my life.
6. I am not alone. There are so very many people out there struggling with the same issues.
So . . . bottom line . . . I will keep coming here for inspiration.
Thank you for listening.
I have gone from "I have a problem, I am completely fucked up" - to "well, I'm not that bad, maybe I can just moderate" - to - "maybe I can be dry for a few days, and then give myself a break" - to "I have no clue what to do."
Sound familiar?
So, I'm doing a progress update with myself. This is what I have learned so far. Posting because it may help someone else.
1. I am fairly certain that I don't have the "gene" or whatever that makes me go crazy the minute alcohol touches my lips. I have an issue with impulse control - yes - but it's not hard-wired in my brain. However, I do routinely drink MORE than I had planned, unless I have an "outside" obligation (e.g., I must drive someplace or talk to someone).
2. I can, and I have, given up alcohol for extended periods. Cutting out is much easier than cutting back. But I always, always, always come back. So far in my life, anyway.
3. I enjoy drinking in moderation.
4. I am not ready to give up alcohol once and for all time. Yet.
5. I need to really monitor my health and well-being. That's the main reason why I'm here. I'm not a pass-out drunk. I've never done jail time or lost a job. I'm "just" taking years off my life.
6. I am not alone. There are so very many people out there struggling with the same issues.
So . . . bottom line . . . I will keep coming here for inspiration.
Thank you for listening.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
5. Says so much to this booze hound. The proverbial YET,...
Thanks for the post , helps me remember all the turmoil I internalized, how much I obsessed about what I was or wasn't . I don't miss it for sure! Now the drink I may miss sometimes, but the turmoil. Not one bit.
Keep searching for YOUR path.
1is2many
You have to take your path. I just want to let you know...that it is progressive...be careful.
#2. I too have given up alcohol for an extended period of time. I too have came back to it.
#3. I too enjoy drinking in moderation. The problem for me, in the long run, it is never in moderation and I always want more. (just like Me and certain drugs).
#5. I too have never been to jail.
#6. Your right, you are not alone. U and I have alot in common.
I do want a drink at times. Yes, I FEEL like I could now just have 1 or 2. But I don't want to take that chance. My life was so miserable when I was drinking like a fish.
http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa60.htm
It sounds like you are trying to justify drinking in moderation but you are experiencing some guilt feelings over it as in number 5.
I went through something similar when I was still drinking. It wasn't until my life fell apart before I checked myself into treatment.
So basicly, I think that by minimizing, you are following the same path I and most everyone else does. So in other words you are not yet ready for step one.
IMHO
Good Luck!
Definitely a gene..there is also new evidence "from rat studies"..that environments and happiness or lack of....make certain people crave drugs and alcohol. They learn more everyday.
This is no easy thing that is cut and dry but they do have evidence to support...its a disease and it can be genetic or environmental.
No matter how much research they have thou...there is still a stigma attached to you if you are an alcoholic or an addict. And that goes up my spine a mile. Drs and Nurses....I have had experience with being treated like crap at times by those that are either uneducated or ANGRY at the disease.
I'll keep an eye out for you if you'll do the same for me.
Here is the "intent" behind my comment about the "gene." I don't think that I have a genetic predisposition - or whatever it may or may not be called. I can't give myself that "out" as it were. What I am trying to say - badly - is that I am responsible for my more choices - and I know that. Maybe I do or don't have a gene - but either way - I know that I CAN choose not to drink after having "just one." I just give way to my impulses, rather than be fully aware and make a conscious choice.
I still don't think I've explained it at all. I don't want to step on anyone's toes here. That's probably why I'm being so ham-handed.
Anywho . . . yes . . . I am still seeking to understand myself and my "relationship" with alcohol.
So it goes. Thanks for all the comments. Much to ponder.
It helps me to say that I am an alcoholic. It's not me it's my disease. I am a good person not morally wrong.
I have the alcoholic gene because my dad and his dad were abusers too. See my dads dad was from Finland and booze was not a part of the culture. Like Indians my body is not evolved to handle booze.
I was an alcoholic from birth.
1-2
I, too, am convinced that alcoholism can be genetic. However, get someone hooked by regularly using the drug, such as in the case of text animals in labs, and they too can become addicted. Anyone can be an addict, but with the right genetic material, some are destined to be.
I was born an alcoholic, and the life choices I made were catalytic measures to get me to a fully progressed one. Sooner or later, I was get hooked and be the hot mess I am when I drink.
I want to underscore that this is a progressive disease. It is also an insidious one that thrives off the mid and trains it to think in a certain way---rationalizing being the principle one.
Good job staying here.
I never had a DUI, lost a job, and I didn't have any physical consequences. But I didn't want failures to define me, I wanted to be present and in the flow. Sobriety rocks.
My life is rich full and amazing. If you can have rich and amazing drinking...awesome. I can't.
All the best..
Couple things from reading your responses:
1. The time wasted "coming up with rules" for moderation. Wow - that one hit home. Nail on the head stuff. Ouch.
2. Progressive disease. Wow - another home run. I started drinking before I was 21 - but just sips here and there. Then, when I was "legal" - I started drinking more or less regularly - but usually not during the week. I liked to get a light "buzz" on Sunday, and just keep it going. Now I'm drinking each and every day (unless I'm on a "drying out" phase). I see the progression. I've just never acknowledged it before. Thank you.
3. Regarding "the gene." I think bottom line is this: I didn't need a "gene" to get where I am. I did this to myself. I need to take responsibility.
Again - thank you for all your comments and insights.