"No thank you" works a treat. Unless they also have a problem with alcohol they won't make a big deal of it. I used to tie myself in knots over imagining different scenarios but I know now it was just a part of the illness affecting my thinking.

Hello claired4,

There are all sorts of possibilities here, ranging from various excuses to the actual truth. You dont owe anyone an explanation but something like Im off it at the moment or Taking medication can do the trick if they keep pushing. Of course, No, thank you is perfect too. Read a little book called Living Sober as it has a lot of tips for dealing with situations that arise in early sobriety.

The voice that is telling you that you can just have one is something that you would be wise to deal with. You may be setting yourself up to drink when that wine is offered and the reason is that the obsession for alcohol does not go away just because you have stopped drinking. Of course, you cannot now plead ignorance because you know that one drink will lead to many more and who knows where it would stop?

The way that you overcome the obsession that clouds an alcoholics thinking in the period that leads up to taking the first drink is your business. There are various methods mentioned in other threads here so pick one that suits you. AA is what has worked for me and I never regard myself as someone who can never drink again. Instead, I will not drink today.

Everyone has their own way, but I don't like coming up with little lies either. As mentioned "no thank you" goes a long way. Most people don't really care...and those who really push are probably those with issues themselves and want a drinking buddy :)

You'll find what's comfortable for you.

Well for starters "No thank you" That's often enough these days.

"No thanks" works for me. If pressed, I say that I get migraines (I do) and drinking gives me headaches (it does.)

That little voice you hear might not be about having a drink. It might be about feeling a bond with a person -- sharing a moment -- more than the alcohol in the wine. Wanting to be part of the shared experience. At least that is something I recognized in myself that made it easier to relax and just enjoy the conversation and not worry about the alcohol. Does that make sense to you?

And great going on 30+ days!

Read something lately (might have been posted on another thread here) that made a lot of sense to me:

"Those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter".

I would say 'no thank you, I quit awhile ago, but I'll take:'
It could be bottled water, it could be ginger ale, tonic water with lime, it could be anything but alcohol. I still drink N/A beers, (nothing wrong with that to me). Most people don't care about what you are drinking. They are to messed up to even care. 10 months later, I still have cravings for booze. If I picked up a drink now, I would have thrown 10 months down the drain and I would more than likely pick up the daily habit of drinking again. You are on 30 days, you need to have a plan.

I'm a mom who stopped drinking when my little ones were (are) still little. So lots of play dates where I used to booze, and now say NO.
It was hard at first, until I realized no one cared if I drank or not.
I mean do you really care if a friend says no? I didnt/ don't.
Its only a big deal to the alcoholic:-)
So I just say no i don't drink, or no thank you. Or can I have a soda instead? Or water?

Thanks all....I'll go with "no thank you" then "I'm driving/taking antibiotics/gives me migraines" if needed!

I have first said no thanks....I also have said I am allergic and break out in handcuffs...LOL I have also told them I am sober and do not drink anymore...one other of the funnier ones is there is not enough beer at Anheiser Bush to fill me up so I pass...

pressure from someone wanting you to drink needs to be pushed away too...firmly stating that you do not wish to drink today...perhaps saying I am driving...I am on medications or I need to stay sober for events this evening....wise people will back down from someone saying any of these...but then I use humor more and also state that I am a recovering alcoholic....you never know they may be searching for some way to get out of their own private hell with alcoholism....

I don't think your friends will be focused on what you're drinking. I used to think they would but nah, they all were doing their own thing.

"No thanks" works!

I just say "I don't drink - but thank you anyway" . If I am pushed as to why - I just say I'm a sober alcoholic.

The response I usually get is very complimentary. People seem to admire someone who has had issues in life - and have been able to overcome those issues.

There is nothing to be ashamed of - it takes great strength to become a sober alcoholic and people seem to admire that.

Easy one...I don't drink for health reasons that I have (true yes?)

With me it is very true as it would effect my high blood pressure, high triglycerides...etc...etc