My mother used to celebrate every 5 years of her life, by having one Bacardi cooler. For some reason, I wasn't meant to be able to enjoy alcohol without it turning to addiction. But through my step work, I have learned that I have always had the addiction. The thing with alcoholism, is you always go back to where you left off at your last drunk. If I were to drink today, I would be throwing myself in front of vehicles again. And this time, they may be moving faster than last time. I pray that you find the strength to kick the habit before it's too late. But don't depend on your bf to be strength through it. Do it for you.

My life never got better when I drank....in fact....it got worse, much worse! I reached a point where I had enough, and drove myself to the hospital and told them I needed help. I was sent home that day and continued to abuse my mind and my body with alcohol. About a month later, I was taken to detox, compliments of our local police department.

This time things were different. For the first time in my life, I was open minded. I was willing to allow others into my private world so they could find out what triggered my drinking. They showed me how to fix those underlying issues such as depression and fear, and they said they would help me...which they did. After detox, I went through a 3 week IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) If you live in the USA, every hospital has one. That was followed by 3 months of once a week, relapse prevention group counseling where I learned coping skills to deal with the stresses in life and we did this mostly through role playing which was kinda fun, actually.

Through all the treatment I had, regular attendance at AA meetings were a requirement. The 12 steps began my spiritual journey and from that point on, it was one miracle after another. That was 10 years ago. Today I have a great life and I have a peace and happiness beyond measure!

Good luck on your road to recovery. May you find the courage to heal your soul, like I did!

God Bless!

There is one guarantee in this situation, unless you take drastic action for yourself, things will get far worse. If you are willing, there is a lot of help and encouragement waiting for you.

An honest desire to stop drinking for good and all is essential. If you don’t have that, sadly the outlook is bleak. Unless you are both willing to seek a separate path of recovery at the same time with the same strength of desire and commitment, the one who has the strongest desire to be well must get away from the toxic environment.

If you are alcoholic this is an illness that your mental faculties will minimise and manufacture excuses to stay in the downward spiral. That is why it is so dangerous and why so many do not recover.

You deserve to have peace and quality of life, it can be done even though the mountain to climb looks impossible from where you are standing right now. Be courageous. Most of us needed help for that, I got mine through Alcoholics Anonymous and there are other routes too.

I feel pretty strongly that once someone is physically abusive, it's time to end the relationship.

If they'll do it once, they'll probably do it again and most of the time those types of relationships get progressively worse.

Alcohol shouldn't be used as an excuse to do terrible things, we are all responsible for our actions, drunk or sober.

No one deserves to be abused, including you. I think you should find someone who agrees.

I tried to convince myself I could be a moderate drinker SO many times, just to get drunk again, and swear that next time I'll just drink socially / moderately... just to get drunk again. I think once a person has issues of alcohol abuse, then the addiction requires abstinence. Sadly. I thought I would die on 4th of July without my cooler of beer, but I stayed strong and I feel SO much better now!

I'm only 50 days without a drink... but I feel motivated every day to add another day to the tally. And I feel healthy and happy beyond what drinking ever did for me.

I don't worry about my husband. I have my hands full just worrying about myself. Don't worry about the storm; calm yourself and the storm will pass (That's one of the motivational quotes from my "I Am Sober" app.

Good Luck!
SeaQ

When youre ready nothing will stop you. Until you are nothing will convince you. You said it all yourself. Open your heart to love from your HP. There is no peace but through Devine intervention, but you have to accept it. You dont even have to ask the love is always there. Just open yourself to it.

Hail Mother , full of grace. The word is with you. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb. Holy Mother, care for us sinners, now until the hour of our deaths.