Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hello,
My name is Holly and I reached out to this support group hoping to understand. Heres a little about my background and what brought me where I am today. I've never been a drinker but would occasionally have a strawberry daiquiri, I've been a singer most of my life so it put me in environments where alcohol was being served.
I don't know hardly anything at all about alcoholism or addiction or its effect on others. However, I recently found myself dealing with a man who appears to me to have a serious problem. I have been dating him for about 8 months now and as I have gotten to spend more time with him at his home, I've been exposed to some behavior that is definitely not normal.
He drinks 10 or more beers a day, one right after the other and usually begins at around 9 in the morning and goes until 6 or 7 pm. He rarely will eat because he says he's not hungry and if he does eat, it is not much at all. He does not work most of the time but will occasionally get a quick excavating job here or there, the money he gets usually goes for beer and cigarettes until it's completely blown. He lives in a home his parents built and they live next door. They basically help him out with bills and food (when he does eat.)
I have also been exposed to the change in personality and the total anger that develops out of nowhere. I recently noticed that he spends his days on social media like Facebook and messenger as it constantly shows he's active.
He doesn't seem to have any goals or ambitions for himself, and I might add that he is 57 years old, so his parents that take care of him, are in their 80s.
I am also seeing the total, outright lies that seen to go along with the addiction. I will ask him over the phone if hes been drinking and he will answer that he hasn't had one drink all day at all when in reality he has been drinking all day.
Does he not think I will notice or smell it? Does he think I'm stupid? Most of his lies are over things that really do not matter or make a difference, so I can only imagine the larger, more important things he's lying about. That concerns me as well.
He is what I would call a person who has built up a tolerance for a large amount of alcohol because even after 6 or 7 beers, he seems to function pretty well.
Due to my inexperience and lack of knowledge on alcoholism, it is tearing me apart as well as our relationship. Relationships are based on trust, and there is no trust in our relationship die to the lack of caring on his part and lies. I did not see all of this for a very long time in getting to know him and now it's the most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life and I don't know what to do. Please help.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
I don’t know if he’s alcoholic, but he certainly displays alcoholic behaviors.
Morning drinking is a bad sign. Binge drinking is a bad sign. The fact that he’s mostly withdrawn and isolating on FB, yeah that’s a bad sign too.
So to quickly run up the score, mostly unemployed, disconnected,
Moody binge-drinker who uses whatever money he makes on alcohol and cigarettes doesn’t sound like that’s a catch.
I’m not trying to be cruel. But this definitely sounds like a situation I’d extract myself out of as quick as possible.
You see what the alcohol is doing to him but look at what his drinking is doing to YOU!
You need alot of support for yourself and Alanon is a great place to find that support
https://al-anon.org/
You can google meetings in your area.
We will keep you both in our thoughts and prayers.
God Bless
They say that love is blind and everyone is entitled to make their own decisions but that said, I would urge you to be very cautious. Looking from the outside, your man doesn’t seem to have very many positives things going for him and you could easily end up being his surrogate mother, cleaning up his mess, making his meals and paying the bills.
This man may or may not be an alcoholic but he is certainly heading in that direction. One of the things that you may want to bear in mind is that alcoholism is a progressive condition. Nobody can be born an alcoholic and nobody becomes one overnight. Alcoholism starts off with drinking too much and relying on alcohol to help solve life’s challenges. Drinking in the morning and drinking one drink after another are signs of alcoholism. Someone in that position will usually keep increasing the amount that they drink as the condition progresses. They will also try to hide the true picture so you are likely to see only some of his drinking.
Ask yourself where you will be one year, five years from now etc. if you stay with this guy and if it is really worth the pain?
If I were in your shoes I would run as fast as I could before he took me down the slippery slope with him.
It took me wanting to change to make the change.
Much love xx
Good luck for your future.