sounds like you're trying to do so much on your own. aside from your mother, there is a lot of hysteria in the air and sure this adds to your stress. I'd unplug from social media and start going to a local AA meeting. I found tremendous strength in the meetings and support from people who understood what I was experiencing. I also liked the plan for recovery and nearing my third year of sobriety. couldn't have done it without them. wishing you the best and please stay in touch.

I was physically dependent. One of my last days I had to pull over and threw up. Guess what I craved right after?
Time to do something different.
Fruit, lots of water and protein shakes. Three days later I was recovering.
I feel free and clear. You can too

Daisy, sorry to see you back with this news. There is a way, one day at a time.

First, you really need to let go of all that guilt!

I took Camprell for the first month while I was in treatment and I thought it helped. When I lost my insurance, I had to stop taking it but I was fine with that. After I graduated from outpatient, I went in for additional counseling and was well on my way to sobriety.

In the following video, this guy talks about having to place his mom in a nursing home. He is a recovered alcoholic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIq87qCZppM&t=2325s

Thank you everyone for your support.

The day after I posted this request for help, the nursing home notified us that no one is allowed to visit, they are on quarantine. It was like the weight of the world was off my shoulders. I went from the immense fear of what if, to acceptance. I don’t know what kind of a person that says I am, but I know living a life of self harm doesn’t work either.

I haven’t had a desire for a drink since, but I also know it’s about one day at a time. (It’s only been 4 days).

I thank God for this site and the people dedicated to helping others.

good for you Daisy, four days is a great start! glad to see some of the burden off your plate, which should make it easier for you in the days ahead. continued success and stay in touch!

I feel for your situation. God bless your Mom. I am coming off of another binge. I do great without alcohol. When I start again, if I drink a little too much and feel bad the next morning that’s when a binge starts. I will wake up everyday and drink until the day is done. I keep my life and business pretty organized. But my husband and 15 yr old daughter have no idea I’m drinking so much. I have a home office. I hide empty liquor bottles in drawers. I discreetly throw them out on trash day. Feeling like a failure and want to stop today, permanently. Hard because my husband still brings alcohol into the house, I told him months ago that I think I have a problem. Still he kept buying alcohol. I know I’m an alcoholic and I really want to. Change my life.