Good morning to ya'! Greetings from the mitten! If you're looking for alcoholics, we have our share. Something about deep woods and cold long winters creates a fertile growth medium.
Honestly I'm not sure what messed up thing i want to bring up but let me talk about my brother.
My brother has thrown himself into boozing hard core. He is now without any income for over a year. No unemployment. No food stamps as he can't renew his shit. He just lives here and magically buys liquor every day. He's been battling to save his foot, nasty wound vacuum going 24/7, legs all bandaged while dishes, legit, growing mold. He is a hot, festering alcoholic mess.
As an alcoholic who's husband is a war refugee and suffers PTSD and *wow* does he have some deep rage.. I am boxed in by mental health crises.
I have a toxic game i guess. I play saviour (like Euro savior..fancy) and flip between "I can't take his anger. Let me escape & drink with my brother."
Frankly i am stuck, like a tack in your shoe, just clicking on the floor, morse coding it out to please save me. We always want that saviour to intervene. I can't do it myself ffs!!!!
I take care of my dad, who would be completely neglected left to my brother who neglects himself. It's like a hippie commune but psychos.
My father worked in a psych ward for 30 years. It may be my family curse, surrounded by mental health issues.
I just want to be happy!!! I want my brother to turn his sorry suicide parade tf around!!
I tried turning off the tap w access to money, but he needs to eat and given the choice he will drink.
Like. I have a problem. I can't be around him and not be triggered to want booze. Looking at the extreme tragically gross state of his life you would think I would get the cautionary tale and never drink again..and yet..
This year has been rough given ..giveth just everything really. I don't know how to make him care about saving himself. I don't know how to break the narrative that i am the saviour figure and that it's my job.
Save yourself for once.
clean for dinner tonight....sheet pan...I have another would have worked but this one was just as clean and easier to access out of the dishwasher than trying to find the other where I do not know I put it right at moment....I have another one in the refrigerator with the drumsticks container sitting on top of it to collect the blood/juices as that thaws out if any rather than bleeding on the...