Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hey everyone. As a default rule when I am unsure of where to post on here, I come back to the alcoholics section. I believe without the things I've learned in recovery, I would not have a backbone today. I would not be a true support, and the feelings of being broken would win.
Life is full of many reasons for me to feel broken. I have a 14 year old child who has attempted suicide 3 times in the last year, the most recent being a couple of weeks ago. It's been a rollercoaster, and has taken a lot of my strength to remain an assertive and proactive parent. There have been many hidden tears, and at times, released frustrations in the form of being upset at the house cleaning not being completed. The weight of the household was on my shoulders, as my partner was promised a full time job just to be told they couldn't afford to have him more than a couple days a week. He did just start a new job, actually on the same day as my child attempted suicide. The constant worry has exhausted both of us.
One of the things that really had my child down, was that they had this huge fight with their best friend and it seemed to be a complete fall out. Spent weeks allowing my child to vent, so that they would be able to be a bit more graceful in the interactions. In a very heartbreaking turn, this friend and her father were killed in an accident on Sunday night. We are all very devestated, as we have known this girl since birth. I can't imagine what her mother and grandmother are feeling, but there is a huge hole in my heart. My child expressed some of the regrets they have, and I am heartbroken that they are going to have to learn how to work through that in this way. And then there is a shame inside myself, as I wonder if I am handling any of this in the right way. Am I robbing my child of their grief, by trying to prevent another suicide attempt. Are we going to make it through this?
My usual answer is, "I have no other choice." It's easy to say that when it is just me.
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
God Bless
Then my son was an adult and went through suicidal ideations. He is better and on the right meds and valued psychological help. He is happier and has a good job which was a big huge step for him.
I'm just writing to say stay the course, all you are doing sounds helpful to your child. You are a good mother even if these difficult things are happening. I am sorry about her friend dying, that is another difficult blow. Life is so difficult at times.
PS: I personally feel we must talk about our feelings, get them out, and it helps to have another human being validating our feelings. If you can talk to your daughter without the shame and guilt you naturally carry, it will help. (I didn't know how to drop my own shame and guilt with my daughter but learned by the time it was my son's turn.) Let her speak about her emotional pain. Validate how she feels is okay. She is an okay person, a valuable worthy person just by rights of her being a human being. You can validate her feelings and then talk logic or rationality. For example, the argument these girls had did not cause the car wreck or the deaths. At her age, logic and rationality are sort of vague notions. She likely blames herself but you can help relieve her guilt by listening to her and validating her and reminding her this was not her fault. She doesn't have magic powers to cause something like that. And it is natural to grieve and miss the friend and natural to blame ourselves but not logical. She may need to talk and talk for the next six months. Just be her soft place and her emotional strength. Hugs again, I wish your family the best, this is hard stuff.
Oh, another idea is help her write a letter to the friend. Then shred it or cut it up in little pieces and burn it. Have a ceremony saying goodbye, I love you, I forgive you, I miss you to the friend and then burn the letter. Don't let her keep the letter and go over and over it and hang on to the negative or self blame. The ceremony is to release our feelings and say goodbye or forgive ourselves or the friend or whatever works in her situation. It is meant to be a positive method of starting our healing.
Of course with the accident this will seem far away. So sorry that this is going on. This will pass.....BE BRAVE:)
The bottom line is just love them and let the small things ride. It is all about attention. Good or bad attention. The child wants attention so just keep engaging. That’s the best we all can do. The best advice is the mule responds better to the carrot better than the strop