Hello Peter and welcome to the group!

Your wife is attending alanon meetings and I bet it would mean alot to her if you gave AA another try but this time, get a sponser and do the steps with that sponser and I am sure your life will change in a positive way. Nothing else has worked for you to this day so maybe it's time to try something different. 2 meetings of AA doesn't really have much affect unless you get a sponser and do the steps under that sponser. It's just a suggestion, but it worked for me and many others so it might work for you as well.

You said, "I can't seem to stop myself from taking another drink if the booze is available" Why is there booze available? Booze is your trigger and you need to stay as far away from it as you can, at least in the early stages of sobriety.

Your poor wife is having to attend alanon meetings....if you really love her more the the booze, why not put more effort into getting sober and staying sober. I really believe your marriage would be much stronger if you did.

Good luck!

Did you stop going to AA because it wasn't for you? If so there are alternatives for AA. Just google non-12 step programs. Several here stayed sober using this forum., Others go to AA. Find what is a best fit for you.

Meanwhile you are at the one day at a time until you get over the physical effects. Hang in there. You can do it.

Hi Peter, glad you came here for support. Having accountability is so helpful. It may have been a long time that you've been suffering from this addiction, but like you said, today is the day. Remember to take it one day at a time and besides your wife, this support team believes in you. Praying for you, your wife and your journey.

mommato2lilmonkeys

Thanks for the comments and support received thus far. I am going through the first day of withdrawal anxiety and your words of encouragement are helping to ease the pain.

While I actually enjoyed discussing our alcohol addictions with other alcoholics at the AA meetings I attended, I did not feel comfortable following the 12 step program. I am hoping that my continued interaction with this on-line support group will be enough to keep me on the sober path. I will also look into some other non-12 step options as recommended by Impermanence. Can anyone suggest some good reading material on the subject that has proven helpful?

Thanks, Peter

I just quit one day and told myself that my drinking days were over forever. It's not easy, but it's simple.

You can do it, too.

I started reading Empower Your Sober Self by Martin Nicolaus. Looks like it might be a good read for me.

I tried a million times to plug the jug. All was in vain. I was dying
Around May 2012 I too googled and found this forum. It was a vital weigh station in my journey. But I was an isolationist. I didn't like aa at first because it made me uncomfortable and involved work. But I was able to find a way to get 3 years without the NEED to take a drink.

I could not learn what I didn't know

I wish you all the best in a happy sobriety. See I could quit but anger and my isms were rampant in untreated alcoholism I would fly into fits of rage and eventually HAD to drink or else I would implode , but not today.

I was at a meeting today and a lady picked up her like fourth white chip. She started when I did and just can't stay away from the booze. I was humbled and so happy that I was sitting in my seat today because it kept me away from a drink to SEE a first day persons contribution to the meeting

1is2many

There is a morning after pill. Wait that is for something else.

I hope that I never have to go through the withdrawal again. The thought of sobering up after a bender helps keep me sober

There are definitely options other than AA bit many people find they went first time a little too early...didn't relate or hear what they needed to hear...so leave after a few meetings

Maybe try a few more and see if it's a better fit now - and there is plenty more online support now than there was 10 years ago. But face to face is best I think...you have to look them in the whites of the eyes hehe :)

P

Yes, I plan to include AA in my overall program. So far I have been spending most of my spare time reviewing all the alcoholism related posts on this site and some other sites as well. I always feel a little more enlightened after reading about someone else's experiences dealing with the long term abuse of this substance.

Day 2 without Uncle Al went well and I am not really suffering much with the withdrawal symptoms. I have experienced many (understatement) 2 day hangovers in the past and I dread the thought of wasting all that time suffering in a useless and foul state of mind.

I have also started thinking more about how I got into this condition in the first place and how alcohol came to play such a key (dominant?) role in my life. I started drinking my first year in college and took to it immediately. Booze was everywhere and at that time, drugs like pot, speed and LSD were also in the mix. I was in good physical condition and could tolerate getting wasted on a regular basis without suffering too much the next day. And generally, the next day was a repeat of the previous day to the extent I could buy, beg or steal something to get high on. Somehow I managed to bumble my way through college and get a BA degree. I even managed to find a wonderful soul mate and got married a year before I graduated. At this point alcohol was solidly ingrained into my lifestyle and the lifestyles of all my friends. Alcohol was ubiquitous and I never seriously considered the potential negative long term effects it might pose. Looking back, I should have been concerned with my excessive alcohol consumption in comparison to most of my peers, but instead I looked at it as a sort of talent I had; the guy who could drink the most and still remain functional (in my opinion).

Just as a side-note, last month I was informed about the premature alcohol related death of one of my college friends. He was a significant alcohol abuser in college and apparently remained so until his death. I guess that was a bit of a wake-up call for me, along with the fact that my wife quit drinking entirely and started attending Al Anon meetings several months ago. I cannot ignore the fact that I have continuously failed to control my drinking to a reasonable level and the quality of my life, and the life of the person I love most dearly, have been spiraling downward as a result.

Thanks to you all for listening. Peter

We are not bad just sick

Two key points
When I start I cannot stop
When I'm not drinking I am obsessing about when I will drink

Today I popped my my home group and I was empowered to remain sober another day.

See this sh will take me out if I start again

I treat it like a king cobra. I don't get near the sh

I hope you find the sober path and get well

1is2msny