Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I'm sure I already know this, but maybe hearing the answer from others will help.
I'm having a real hard time getting anything out of the local AA meetings. I've been in the program since 1992. I don't help a lot of new comers, I don't help a lot of alcoholics who are still suffering. I know that is one of the first places to go, in theory.
When it comes to the concept of giving back, I can say there wasn't a lot of support at the beginning of my journey in recovery. kind therapist, that was about it. There was one guy who was consistently there for me, (who turned out to have more issues than an alley cat has fleas) and I have made myself available to more than a handful of newcomers, but none of them stick around. I used the guy who was there for me, I can't help it if newbies don't make use of my offers.
I don't want to give up on the program or turn my back on the fellowship, but here is what is turning me off - I was going to a meeting for a few years, same meeting every Friday night. If I was going to miss a meeting, I called someone to let them know what was up. If a regular I knew at the meeting wasn't there, I would call them to see what was up. I haven't been to that meeting in nearly nine months, haven't heard from anyone. Am I terminally unique? I don't want to cop a resentment, but this hurts.
I'm having a real hard time getting anything out of the local AA meetings. I've been in the program since 1992. I don't help a lot of new comers, I don't help a lot of alcoholics who are still suffering. I know that is one of the first places to go, in theory.
When it comes to the concept of giving back, I can say there wasn't a lot of support at the beginning of my journey in recovery. kind therapist, that was about it. There was one guy who was consistently there for me, (who turned out to have more issues than an alley cat has fleas) and I have made myself available to more than a handful of newcomers, but none of them stick around. I used the guy who was there for me, I can't help it if newbies don't make use of my offers.
I don't want to give up on the program or turn my back on the fellowship, but here is what is turning me off - I was going to a meeting for a few years, same meeting every Friday night. If I was going to miss a meeting, I called someone to let them know what was up. If a regular I knew at the meeting wasn't there, I would call them to see what was up. I haven't been to that meeting in nearly nine months, haven't heard from anyone. Am I terminally unique? I don't want to cop a resentment, but this hurts.
Have you ever done counseling for the self- esteem issues? Which is really a deeper issue of core beliefs... It might be worth exploring your neg thoughts that can obscure your perception of you and the world in which you live.. Just a suggestion as it can bring about a new awareness on life..
~lolo
The low self esteem is a specter. It's a noise, it's a ghost. It isn't real. Intellectually I know this. But you hit it on the head when you said "core-issue" A lot of my sub-conscious and semi-conscious behavior is still influenced (used to be governed or riven by) this lie of low self esteem. Wow is right, you nailed it with the "negative thoughts without evidence are lies" thing too. I have enough evidence to suggest I am an incredible person, yet it still fight feelings of low self worth. Most of the time, I remember they are just feelings that are reacting to an old wound. but that wound is deep (yes, I am in therapy, we're talking serious emotional abuse form parents and sexual abuse from an outsider). I forget how powerful the deep issues are. My mind has been so focused lately on my new job that I haven't been on top of somethings, like an old thought pattern that says "how could I help someone in AA, who would want to be like me?"
I'm a happily married, employed, homeowner with two good kids. I am a college graduate who teaches math to juvenile delinquents (the toughest subject to the toughest kids). I ran a marathon last year and can't wait to start training for my next. And I can bench 225 and dead lift 335. All of that means I'm loved, successful, smart, tough and strong. I think a lot of people would want to be like me.
I think the combination of not liking some of the people at the meetings and letting that false, negative thought have too much influence is what's been keeping me from the meetings.
Or maybe Timm is right and I'm just full of it.
I've still got a lot of baggage to sort through.
I've deleted and rewritten this paragraph about five times now. I'm going to submit it now just to get off the tread mill.