Dude get over yourself! Get your butt out there working with other alcoholics. There's an old adage - out of sight out of mind. The people at that meeting can't be around calling you up just because you decide not to show. What about how you haven't been there for them??? You haven't been arsed to go to that meeting for 9 months - you haven't a clue what's going on for anyone else but yourself.

If you want that meeting to be what it once was then you need to do the work on it and yourself.

You remember what it was like at the beginning of your journey in AA - not a lot of support, so your answer is to be p****d off and haven't been there for the newcomers at that particular meeting have you??

You don't want to cop a resentment?? Here's some news - you already got one, now get off your backside and do some giving back. Selfishness and self-centredness is at the root of our troubles and here you are right back there.

You CAN help it if newbies don't make use of your offers of help. YOU are the common denominator in this so this is about you, not them. Maybe they don't want what you have - think about that and get yourself on track before you pick up a drink.

Look to give, not to get.

It's a foreign concept for me. However, I have faith that my innate compassion will be my salvation.

I know right? I was expecting that. I don't know if I'm describing the dilemma right. I wish a swift kick was what I needed, Serenity94, I do, but I don' think that's it.

I can tell you this, if you say what I need to hear, I will listen. I just don't know what I need to hear.

I think that might be another thing. I haven't had a meeting like that in a LONG time, one where I heard something I needed to hear. All I hear is platitudes. I agree with everything that's being said. But nothing resonates.

It all feels like a waste of time.

why don't you get involved at meetings at one of your hospitals? psychiatrict hospital. i guarantee they'll bring lots of inmates down for the meetings and ytou'll get your pick. btw, in the act of full disclosure i've been to....uh....several of them and by God we need you guys. or at least i did need you before i finally surrendered. now i give back at a transitional living facility.

You say you've been in the program since '92. Have you been consistently sober since '92?

Something seems off. Being resentful because people haven't called you is 1st year stuff. Have you worked with a sponsor? Through all 12 Steps?

If so, you might benefit by focusing more on how you can make a positive contribution in the lives of others, rather than what others can do for you.

Like cabledude said, this is a program of attraction, not promotion.
Check out the 11th Step prayer. AA's didn't chase me around either. They waited for me to come to my own conclusion. Maybe they are in your home group, waiting for you to come to your's.

I guess what I am reading in your post is you feel you are not getting out of it what you used to.. Is your question really even about AA or the fact that you took the time out to call and check on others and it was not reciprocated back?????

Do not take things so personal... You had an expectation set up in your mind and and that expectation let you down... Just what I read from this...

lolo

The last two are a lot closer to the mark. One thing I need to keep in mind here is I'm new at not being new. "somethings off" is right, I know exactly what you mean. For whatever reason I'm not looking at myself for the source of the disconnect, but making it a "them vs me" issue.

attraction not promotion. They aren't going to chase me... You words are making some kind of sense.

I know I need the program and the fellowship. Now more than ever (new job is creating huge amounts of stress.)

This is really helping folks, thanks for taking the time.

I need to keep processing your words. There is something there.

I am flaking out - I need to make sense of it in my alcoholic mind. There's probably something to what serenity94 said too, I have copped a resentment. Now that it's said, it feels more like an expectation that isn't being met (which of course causes resentments.)

As far as continuity, no it hasn't been continuous sobriety, just time in the and around the program. My first few years, sobriety and meeting attendance was hit and miss. Then I had a long stretch of both 100% sobriety and 1 - 3 meetings a day. That went for a few years. I have slipped a few times on prescription drugs since the late 90's but no more than a one day event. my meeting attendance has been about 20% since 1999.

I got married and moved to another city with my wife. AA wasn't the same so I didn't go as much. Moved again about 5 years ago, tried to reconnect with the program in the new place, but the same thing seems to be happening. For whatever reason, I'm not getting it (I decided to take some responsibility here, I'M the one not getting it.)

"Positive contribution to the lives of others" - can you believe I still feel like I have nothing to offer? That's an old crusty thinking distortion I need to scrap off, but still haven't figured out how.

That feels right too Misolo

Every body here has it. If you want to do it you will do it! You will find the people who need you and you will go to ANY lengths to find them. When the student is ready the teachers appear. I don't think you're ready... if i were you i'd get with my sponsor and work this deal all over again because iMO ONLY you sound like you're blooming!

Woowww... Well, I will be golly G... you have opened up and got to the real issue now.. instead of dancing around what is really bothering you.... give from the heart, not no expectations... it then is considered a gift.. and believe it or not you have given many away without even realizing it... maybe you have some self worth issues as well.. not giving yourself enough credit and believing in what you have to give is important.. Keep yourself accountable and be honest to to the core.. we are all connected and believe it or not something you may have said at one time or another has changed the path of someones life... Gotta keep the Faith dude..

Challenge your neg thoughts and see if you truly have any evidence to support it. Most times there isn't any.. Hence a neg. thought is untruthful.. a fear or lie that we use to cover an emotion... Wishing you the best of luck..

~lolo

So feeling like I have nothing to give is what is keeping me away, not feeling like I'm getting nothing? If i'm decoding right, that is just twisted enough (in my mind) to be correct. I'm gonna think on that one too.

Wow, I am so glad I opened this web page up. This is really getting me somewhere. Thanks again everyone.

I heard an AA member say once that the program doesn't need him, he needs the program.

Work with other alcoholics is one of the most important things you can do... For yourself. We work with others not for the result of sobering someone else up-that's God's doing-but we do it for our own sobriety and maintenance of spirituality.

One thing I found after 6 years in the program was that when I started learning about the Traditions and applying them, more sponsees tended to stick around and stay sober. There is something about learning the and applying the Traditions that makes the impact of your message more specific to the AA program.

Stick with the program-don't worry about people phoning you. If you want people to phone, put your name on the service board of your committee, I'm sure they always need people to do work around your club.

OUR PLEASURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just read your profile & see you have some self-esteem issues & that's what I see in your posting. Just a suggestion maybe you should be working on that.

I wish you well & for sure BE GOOD YOURSELF!

I am, that's why I'm here!