Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I need some advice. I have been with my alcoholic boyfriend for about 4 years. He is absolutely great and loving when sober but he is like Jekyll and Hyde. When he is drinking (like at this very moment) he is mean (emotionally). He attacks my personality and tries to argue but he doesn’t make any sense and then gets mad and screams and yells that I don’t listen to him. He is basically like a child throwing a temper tantrum. I try not to engage because I know that there is no point, but even that doesn’t help. He tells me that I don’t have any of my own thoughts and I’m just doing what other people are telling me to.
I’m getting to my wits end because he was doing so well for a while and now it seems like we are back to square one. He is drinking massively (vodka straight is his poison) and lying to me and hiding empty bottles around the house. I am ready to just end it but he gets depressed. I know this is just emotional manipulation but I need some help and advice. I am just so sick of the whole cycle and it is bringing me down.
Any recommendations and advice is welcome. I’m about ready to kick him out and damn the consequences.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
She had had enough of my drinking and lying so she kicked me out. Long story short, I wouldn't go. The police were involved and they took me to detox and made sure I got admitted. I was there for 4 days and that was long enough for me to understand that I needed to do everything and anything, to put a stop to my drinking. I went through and outpatient program, got lots of counseling and most importantly, I went to AA meetings and got a sponsor who was my lifeline in the early days when my sobriety was still in a fragile state.
That was 10 years ago. Today I have a great life and am happy beyond measure.
You see what the alcohol is doing to him but "look" and what his drinking is doing to YOU!
You need alot of support for yourself and alanon is a great place to find that support.
https://al-anon.org/
Keep us posted and let us know how it goes. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
God Bless
My daughter also fell in love with an alcoholic and now has a child with him and feels a prisoner in their relationship. I remember when she called me after their first date years ago and said that she really liked him, but advised that he had so many martinis that evening that she had to call him a cab to get home. As a dad I saw a blazing red flag, but her feelings for him kept the relationship alive.
Please don't make the same mistake. Spare yourself a lifetime of heartache. Wishing you the best and please keep in touch!
My late father was an impulsive and sometimes angry drunk.
My late father in law was the life of the party until he hit a threshold then he’d become a mean and abusive drunk.
Your boyfriend has issues, more than just alcohol. That mean, demeaning, disrepctdul stuff is not the vodka talking....the vodka is just letting his repressed torment flow out. He needs help.
2nd generation alcoholic? Other family background issues?
For you, the old saying, “if it feels like abuse, it is.” comes to mind.
No matter how much you love him and how lovable he is in his better moments, this is not a guy that is going to “get better” without some pain and remorse and self reflection. As is always the case - that is his walk to take.
You’ve got a lot of life ahead of you. Cut your losses and tell him to get out and find somewhere else to behave like that. Either that will rock his world enough that he might actually get his shit together, or he will continue to self destruct but he won’t be so close for you to get hit by the shrapnel.
may the force be with you
The old saying “you don’t know what you have until you don’t have it anymore” comes to mind.”. Ask him to leave, make no promises to him of a future and put the ball in his court to get sober for himself! Like Bob says, see what the drink is doing to him but look at yourself, how miserable you are, no doubt on pins all the time fearing him, watching what you say etc etc that’s no life. Don’t let his dislike of himself ruin you with his constant jibes. I hope you find some help with a group like Alanon
Good luck x