Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
In the book Alcoholics Anonymous, the story of Fred, who was an accountant, who had a successful day one day, and then decided to drink, unable to foresee the consequence of him blacking out and going on a bender, tells of how spiritual principles can solve all his problems.
What is to be spiritual, and what are these principles? For me, spiritual principles are hard to describe in words because I more so feel them than see them. It all falls in line really with the anonymous principle of often in recovery I experience help, but can't explain it to my fellow human beings without confusing them, lol. For instance, my mind has been troubling me for several reasons lately, and it's been overwhelming, but my friend a while ago suggested this musical group, and that musical group if looked at on the surface, and assumed were what their name suggests they were, wouldn't necessarily be the obvious tool of spiritual help I need. However, listening to them does make me very spiritual, and it makes me rocket into that fourth dimension the literature talks about. It's really not about the group, or the music, it's all about the trust in God, that he is running this show and giving me exactly what I need at the exact right times. That principle is humility and faith, and all I have to do is be obedient to the fact that when I listen to the music, it provides a spiritual experiece fueled by the anonymous nature of the God I know loves me.
I haven't really been feeling much love lately by the world I live in. I haven't been giving much love either. More about alcoholism speaks of my inability to have a defense of my own willpower and knowledge before all my first drinks, so, when I get up in the morning, I give my life to God, as my defense against chronic alcoholism, and he comes through each time. The principle of trust and faith although difficult to really generate, have made this experience of having alcoholism and other mental deficiencies, not the terror fest it used to be inside my mind.
I even don't know why God has it in my plan to do this work. Getting up, having to take time to write, and spread a message, for only a few (if that), that he loves us despite us being imperfect in this world with alcoholism. It is discouraging to know that my solution is doing his when it's impact might not even be realized. It's kind of like Bill Wilson, trying to make everyone sober, and no one staying sober, my mind often says to myself "what's the point?" The answer to that is literally to an effect, it might not even have a point, this site for reasons I am not sure of, isn't what it used to be, it used to have tons of people who could help or be helped, but now not so much, so am I doing this to help, or am I doing this to be trusting, faithful, and obedient to the thing that has the most power and loves me?
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
Where I can find common ground with people talking about religious or spiritual experiences is when it's kept simple. As in love=god, god=love. In this I can "believe' in god. However as soon as it becomes more complicated than this I see it becoming a thing of the mind and I don't have a desire to engage in that form of psychology. As I age and am slowly finding my truth, I see how much I didn't understand love, because I was never given the tools to love myself. Without this I have been stumbling in the dark for most of my life and it's no surprise that alcohol became my surrogate 'god'. The whole problem was my perception, that I was separate from the world as in 'them' and me. This 'separate' isn't real, there's no invisible barrier keeping me at a distance from everyone and everything. That barrier is completely in my mind and it's a habit way of perceiving myself and is a very hard one to break because it's been reinforced continuously all my life.
Tbh this is the problem I have with religion, when it takes on the separation of god vs me. Just another separation reenforcement.
As you are here on a support group, and I'm assuming it's not just a platform to convince yourself of the beliefs you have, I would like to ask you to try and engage with the few people (as you pointed out) that visit here. You aren't separate, remember? You post in this group so that makes you part of the group. In reading what you've written in the past, I've been able to get a sense of the real you, between the lines. It's not in what you write as much as how and why. I get the feeling that despite your intelligence, emotional connection is elusive for you. That's ok, I know the feeling. Healing this sense of separation only happens one way, see honestly the invisible barriers that we think separate us and then overcome fear to step past them and engage with others on a personal level. As awkward and as messy as that can be.
I would like to thank you for helping me come to understand something very wise that I read not too long ago; annoyance is our need to be right. If we look at this simple statement with honesty the entire chain of ego driven separation becomes crystal clear. For a while your teacher role style of posts annoyed me until I let love come in to help me put my ego aside (the wanting to be right) and accept that you are doing the best with what you know and who the hell am I to judge anything. I think it's great that you are sober. So am I. I wonder if we can meet on this common ground and just talk about life? I'd really love to see us help each other.
Acceptance, Forgiveness, and Letting go. Everything else is just a distraction!
~~~Peace~~~