Yeah right, focusing on problems only nurture the problem. I'm with you!

Like why bother to remember the tiles that came off the Challenger space shuttle? Let's let the bad things go.

Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it. (I just made that up)

Damn flies! This is getting irritating. Boleon, are you having the same hallucination as me?

Ashley, I go to AA Lead meetings for this very topic. Hearing the persons story of where they were and how they got sober helps me. I'm on day 26 today.

Good luck!

Damn flies! This is getting irritating. Boleon, are you having the same hallucination as me?
What does that mean?

I knew it Ashley, it is just me. I keep feeling like I have flies all over my face. I'm sorry, I'm having detox hallucinations I guess.

For my worst thing lately, last year when I was in withdrawal and needing a drink badly, I stole money from my dear old 86 year old mother's purse for vodka. This is the first time I've admitted that to anyone but my sponsor. But I've done worse......

taking three days to find my car

hey who let the spider in?

i know no one likes to face it be its where drinking gets us.....I personally pissed on my dad couch and tryed to cover it up, no use.....how humiliating....i was such a loser....now i can look at him without humilation....and begin repay him

A Physical Perspective of Insanity:

The alarm clock would sound, and the first thoughts of the day would those of imminent doom. I would force myself out of my bed, and literally stumble into the bathroom. A long look in the mirror and the only thing I saw was shame. The black bags under my eyes one side of my face so swollen, it appeared as if I had mild strokeand paleness about me like I had just seen a ghost.

It was around that time I noticed the foul stench of myself was so heinous, I had to turn my head away. I would turn the shower on half stooped over from exhaustion, and while waiting for the water to heat up, I would feel my heart just wanting to explode. The booze induced hypertension set a theme for the day of suffering. I would frantically rub my face, hoping I could somehow rub away the swelling under my eyes. I purchased a high powered scented soap, in hopes that it would mitigate the smell of stagnant beer fermenting inside my bowels for six hours, and now emanating from my every pore.

I would eat something heavy in protein for breakfast, as I knew it would reduce the effects of a hangover. Then its off to work. In the parking lot, I would shove a few Tic-Tacs in my mouth as a last ditch effort to hide my alcoholic breath. Putting on a sheepish smile, it was now time to endure eight hours of suffering and earn money to prolong it. No amount of water I drank, no amount of Gatorade, no amount of herbal tea, no amount of aspirin would take away the hypertensive feeling that I might come out of my skin. My heart palpitations would increase as my level of work activity would increase. My poor heart. :(

Avoiding people at work was an art form. Hold my breath when someone would lean over my shoulder to look at my monitor. Avoiding staying in one place for long, where the stench of myself wouldnt have the time to become concentrated. I would have a fan at my desk, hoping it would disperse the smell of booze on me. I would go into the bathroom and almost fall asleep due to physical exhaustion.

After work, I would travel to different stores for my booze and hide my alcoholism. When I was in the checkout line, my eyes would dart about hoping nobody I knew would see me. And if they did see me, I already had story on my lips telling them what I was doing with a half rack in my hand. I purposely wouldnt eat when I got home, because the cravings for alcohol was so strong, food didnt matter. As an added bonus, I would just get shitfaced that much easier.

I would choke down the first few beers, dry heaving so heavily I thought I would rip my insides in half. Depleted from the toxicity of alcohol, I was often hunched over in a drunken stooper. A once vibrant and athletic young man many years ago, and now physically overwhelmed by drunkenness. I would drink until I was physically incapable of drinking anymore.

But God was watching and waiting ... the physical and mental insanity of alcoholism was crushed with a single prayer.

Got drunk Then got into the coke,so I could drink more..Then came a friend with meth....Next thing I was drinking Nyquil,Booze and taking sleeping pills to come down. I did to my knee's asking god to let me live !
He did, so I finished the coke the next day...FRICKEN SCARY !!!!!

I look at the character I am now compared to when I was drunk.I have an OSC on me because of my drinking,what a nice tag to have to keep the rest of my life.Not as mean and nasty either.

Everyone has a different tolerance to alcohol. And I'm sure each of us has a horror story to tell and are baffled at how God was gracious to give us another chance at life.

Instead of taking heed, people under the influence... get behind the wheel again.
However, their were victims are not as fortunate. They just happen to be at the wrong place at that time.

We are here in this group because ,we recognize that be it alcohol or drugs...it has turned us into people that we swore, we would never be.

As we share life experience...mind you, some may think that she/he is boosting. This is not the case.

If my life experience can help another, and to let them know that they are not the only ones that F...up , then I am glad.

Ashley, very good topic, I was taught very early on never to forget where I came from like your said it keeps us grounded. We have a great way of forgetting but as long as i don't forget putting a car up a tree blacked out, detoxing for days ect.... I have a good chance of staying in recovery along with working the steps to the best of my ability on a daily basis, meetings and of course working with others, its a full circle deal. I think Mike made a good point there is no reason to dwell on it BUT never forget.