It's good that you came here and asked because you will need a plan.........

What my IOP councilor use to tell me, was, " If you get a craving, think about the consequences of your actions before you take that drink"

I went to my nieces wedding with 5 years sobriety and I admit, I was nervous. Over 200 people at the reception and every one of them drank except me and the kids. I went to the bar and simply said, "Coke on ice please....I'm driving!" and the bartender said, "Thank God someone is!"

These kind of functions are dangerous situations and that's why you need a plan.. I sipped on my coke and made it last a long time while I watched others get silly and make fools of themselves so it was all very entertaining to me.

There is a post about that called, "Dangerous Situations" and I will see if I can dig that up for you.

God Bless

Have a plan, call someone when it starts and tell them you will call them when you get out. The first... wedding, event etc is always sort of scary. They get easier and there is not so much nervous anticipation , but I would suggest having a coke or some drink in your hand and if anyone offers you a drink, say I’m ok. I will get it.
Nobody will care and you actually might remember it and respect yourself after.

Enjoy it , don’t drink

1is2many

Hi, I hope these events go smoothly for you. It is ok to say no to going if you don’t feel safe. Your sobriety is more important than someone getting annoyed that you didn’t attend. That being said, having a plan as suggested is good. Does anyone you’re going with know you’re in recovery? It’s helpful to have someone to go to that is there to check in with. Otherwise keep your phone close and call someone in the program. If you like kids, you could play with them at the event. They won’t be drinking :). Excuses to say if someone pushes a drink at you are - I’m driving, I don’t drink anymore, my stomach can’t handle it, I’m on medication,,, in most cases though people don’t care if or what you’re drinking. Drive your own car so you can leave early is good too. You can do it, hugs

Why can't you get out of them? How long have you been sober? When I was new I had to accept that this is matter of life and death. I didn't go to such events because I'm an alcoholic trying to figure out how to live without drinking. I have the rest of my life to go to these events which are ALWAYS OPTIONAL regardless of what we or anyone else says. Truth is, everyone in my life would rather have me sober and alive than go to a silly drinking ritual.....errrr wedding.

All the advice is good. You are right step one I can put my foot down and not go but its too complicated to get out of. I have given my wife the impression I have not been drinking at all. Didnt reveal slips. So I'm now tied up in my own lies.
I will just have to get through it. Tbh if I got to next Saturday I'd be doing well. Haven't done a clear six Days in months

Make the commitment to abstinence. Stop fooling around. Once I told myself that I wouldn’t let a drop pass my lips for the rest of my life, I found freedom. And that lead me into recovery. Just like doing anything we have been avoiding, the start is hardest. It’s all about generating the desire to make a change. What lifestyle do you want? Once my mind set into the decision I could have spent the day at Octoberfest. Because I WANT to be a man who doesn’t drink I don’t need to give anyone a reason. I just say ‘I don’t drink’ and people easily accept it. If I’m around people who know I drank then I say ‘I don’t drink anymore ‘ I have yet to be judged by it. If anything, the positive response I usually get is they tell me that they’d like to try it too. Who knows, you might change someone’s life. Walk the walk not the talk. Bests

PS: practice honesty.

I can say for 100 percent certainty I don’t miss the lying game. Alcoholism is so much more than drinking. The deceit, the covering of tracks, the dishonesty. Man that’s what I don’t miss.

Hope you have success with these events. I had to realize I don’t mix with alcohol. It was living my life and I was just a passenger.

1is2many

A couple of things. One - if you haven’t really put together real time, you’re not sober. With this illness, abstinence isn’t enough. You need a program to ensure success. That’s your first problem. It isn’t the events; it’s that you aren’t sober.

Once you get sober, stop lying and are rigorously honesty with yourself and others, it becomes much less difficult.

look at alcohol as shellfish. Alcoholics have an allergy to booze. Plain and simple. If you went to these events and they served shrimp, what would you do? You’d avoid the shrimp like the plague. You’d eat beforehand and you’d watch others eat the shrimp, and you’d feel ok because you know the shrimp would make you sick. You have accidentally eaten shrimp and you threw up, your throat closed, your face broke out, and you had a giant headache. You’d never want to endure that again, and you’d avoid shrimp at all ends.

When you are truly sober, you will recognize that alcohol is poison for you. It doesn’t matter that everyone else can have it. You can’t.

Personally, I watch people be asses all the time, and I don’t even like to be around alcohol in that state. Hopefully one day you will be in the same boat.