The normal drinker has 1-2 and feels sleepy, there is not a reaction in their brain that says I’m fired up and ready to get fuked up! I remember a party at college that out of 50 I was the only one standing at the end of the night. Every one had gone to bed but I was ready to keep going. I have an alcoholic predisposition to drink.

The problem is when the alcoholic drinks one night, there is a tolerance built up and the need for more the next night and the amount increases.

To answer your question, I can not return to being a social drinker and over the years have seen many alcoholics try only to die or get mangled, divorced or eventually find soberity again.

The bottom line is it’s not the alcohol but the inner feelings of self that cause the need to escape. It’s those fears and feelings that wanted me to get fckd up. And my body handled it for awhile but eventually I was drinking way too much. And driving and not participating in life. I was a shell.

Now today I choose to just not start. It is a daily choice. I am happier.

1is2many

I can only talk about my experience. I don’t know if I could just drink socially now. I’ve learned alot about myself and am building will power. I am happy being sober. It makes me feel better than a drink ever did. To have a glass of wine with my wife at dinner might become two and then think why just leave a little left. Might as well finish it. Then getting home; why not open another one. I am free from those thoughts. It had to be all or none. And that’s ok. Those dark thoughts you mentioned: the alcohol was keeping me in a state of hiding/denial. I was trapped in a cycle that wouldn’t allow me to grow. Now with clarity I am creating the strength to shine light in those dark places. So the question becomes, not can I drink again, but why would I? I have done that and it led me astray. Sobriety is an exciting journey. Nothing boring about it. The other life was empty and boring.

I asked that same question of my counselor when I was in outpatient treatment and I was told that once you have been diagnosed with the disease of alcoholism, it's a lifelong disease. It can never be cured, only controlled. I have never known someone who was an alcoholic who could only drink one or two drinks a day.

It's a progressive disease. In other words....as your body builds a tolerance, you will drink more and more over time, to get the same affect so if you were drinking 2 beers a day, then 2 years later, you might be drinking 4 beers a day so if you quit drinking completely and had 4-5 years of sobriety and thought you could drink one or two beers, you would probably drink a whole case.

I hear stories like that at AA meetings. I remember one guy use to share his story with us at meetings of my home group. He said he stopped drinking completely. After 6 years of sobriety, he walked into a bar with the intention of drinking two beers and leaving. Long story short, he said he ended up drinking for the next 16 years and got sober in jail. Now he goes to AA meetings and works the program to stay sober. That's just one example but I have heard many so long story short, if I thought I could drink one drink and quit, I would be fooling myself. I would automatically know that I have some unfinished business with my ego and would begin investigating the reasons why I feel I need a drink....what is it about my life that makes me feel uncomfortable, that I think a drink will fix or make me feel better? There is always an underlying problem triggering that craving, some fear that is making me want to numb myself from some negative emotion, that's always the bottom line.

God Bless

Now that I have my sobriety and my support, I have no desire to even attempt to become a social drinker. The risk of going back to hell is just too great. Knowing that my life will do nothing but improve through sobriety, is enough to convince me that I can let go of what I used to be.

I have my doubts on the disease model. If its a disease why bother applying willpower to it? Its a disease?
Here is a quote from wilkedpedia
Some critics of the disease model argue alcoholism still involves choice, not total loss of control, and stripping alcohol abusers of their choice, by applying the disease concept, is a threat to the health of the individual; the disease concept gives the substance abuser an excuse. A disease cannot be cured by force of will; therefore, adding the medical label transfers the responsibility from the abuser to caregivers. Inevitably the abusers become unwilling victims, and just as inevitably they take on that role. They argue that the disease theory of alcoholism exists only to benefit the professionals' and governmental agencies responsible for providing recovery services, and the disease model has not offered a solution for those attempting to stop abusive alcohol and drug use.[55]

These critics hold that by removing some of the stigma and personal responsibility the disease concept actually increases alcoholism and drug abuse and thus the need for treatment.[55] This is somewhat supported by a study which found that a greater belief in the disease theory of alcoholism and higher commitment to total abstinence to be factors correlated with increased likelihood that an alcoholic would have a full-blown relapse (substantial continued use) following an initial lapse (single use).[56] However, the authors noted that "the direction of causality cannot be determined from these data. It is possible that belief in alcoholism as a loss-of-control disease predisposes clients to relapse, or that repeated relapses reinforce clients' beliefs in the disease model."

One study found that only 25 percent of physicians believed that alcoholism is a disease. The majority believed alcoholism to be a social or psychological problem instead of a disease.[57]

A survey of physicians at an annual conference of the International Doctors in Alcoholics Anonymous reported that 80 percent believe that alcoholism is merely bad behavior instead of a disease.[58]

Thomas R. Hobbs says that "Based on my experiences working in the addiction field for the past 10 years, I believe many, if not most, health care professionals still view alcohol addiction as a willpower or conduct problem and are resistant to look at it as a disease."[59]

Alcoholics Anonymous says that "Some professionals will tell you that alcoholism is a disease while others contend that it is a choice" and "some doctors will tell you that it is in fact a disease."[60]

Lynn Appleton says that "Despite all public pronouncements about alcoholism as a disease, medical practice rejects treating it as such. Not only does alcoholism not follow the model of a 'disease,' it is not amenable to standard medical treatment." She says that "Medical doctors' rejection of the disease theory of alcoholism has a strong basis in the biomedical model underpinning most of their training" and that "medical research on alcoholism does not support the disease model."[61]

"Many doctors have been loath to prescribe drugs to treat alcoholism, sometimes because of the belief that alcoholism is a moral disorder rather than a disease," according to Dr. Bankole Johnson, Chairman of the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Virginia.[62] Dr Johnson's own pioneering work has made important contributions to the understanding of alcoholism as a disease.[63]

Certain medications including opioid antagonists such as naltrexone have been shown to be effective in the treatment of alcoholism, although research has not yet demonstrated long-term efficacy.[64]

Frequency and quantity of alcohol use are not related to the presence of the condition; that is, people can drink a great deal without necessarily being alcoholic, and alcoholics may drink minimally or infrequently.[2][65]

Btw Im not denying abstinence is not a bad idea. Alcohol is a poison and thus avoiding it is a good idea . I Think it warps brain patterns certainly and perhaps irreversibly if you drink too long but Im only postulating a theory.
Everybody has to figure out a way forward but I think we should be careful to call it a disease for definite

I know I can't. When I go out with friends and they only have drink I think "how is that possible?" I don't understand how someone can stop at one, two, three etc. The funny thing is I will have an iced tea and sip it all night and I am satisfied. That is just my personal experience.

I hear you on all that. But I KNOW it’s a disease. I’m in remission but it could come back in a flash. What I am curing is my emotional health. The will power to not pick up a drink is my will to live the best life I can That’s the choice. It’s SO much more than abstinence.

ask yourself: When did I ever have 1 or 2?

Do I want more when I have 1

most importantly

Do I find myself thinking or planning when the drinking will start?

If you can only have 1 then just stop then there is no problem, but honestly would a normal drinker find an alcoholic forum and post ? think about it and the real important thing is what you will do next. the window of opportunity is only open for a short time. then back on the bottle and the need for booze to make the body feel normal. this is the crazy part , its poison but because it is a drug we will continue to pour it down regardless of the problems

1-2

1is2many

Hi I hate to say this but I have been sober now for 107 days and I will never be a social drinker I think you might be in the same boat I think you might have a problem since you wrote try to think about the last time you drank could you stop on your own before all the booze was gone? Cambridge girl

Yes I often stop before all the booze gone. Btw not knocking sobriety. Booze is a posion. .

Hello Everyone

I have read all the posts on this page, and I thank you all for sharing because I see a little bit of the drunken me in all the stories. It is hard for me to stop at one drink, but I can also remember when one drink was enough, and I didn't need more.

I am new to this group. I was drinking every night for almost one year. One or two bottles of wine or a 350ml bottle of vodka. When 4pm was approaching, I was already waiting to start dinner in order to start drinking. Today was rough because apart from my marital problems, I was looking at the clock thinking it is getting close to the time that I would normally drink. I went our and just drove around going into stores and not really buying anything. It worked. I got home and didn't feel like drinking and I felt a bit empowered. I did buy a pack of cigarettes took a few puffs and threw the whole pack away.

This is a true story which happened many years ago. I remember before I got sober. I was beginning to think I might have a problem with alcohol, because my drinking was pissing off my wife and I had alot of stress at work and drinking was how I handled that stress; but I wasn't ready to admit that I had a problem with alcohol,... So I came into this group and wrote a post about how alcohol was affecting my life and I asked the group if they thought I had a problem.

Looking back... in retrospect, I was really hoping everyone would say to me, "Nah.....your fine, don't worry about it. You don't drink enough to be called an alcoholic!" In fact, I was expecting to read similar replies like that because I wanted others to enable me but to my surprise, I heard the exact opposite of what I wanted to hear! Others shared their stories with me and I was horrified to be included in this group of people in recovery; so I left DS and didn't go back for close to a year.

In that year.., things went from bad to worse. I lost my job, my wife was getting ready to divorce me and I was running out of money. I had been going to AA meetings for about a month and finally got a sponsor but I wasn't ready to do step work.

Long story short, I went on a really big binge and ended up in detox for 4 days. Everything was taken away from me, even caffeinated coffee so I had caffeine withdrawals to go along with the alcohol withdrawals. On my third day there, I learned of an AA meeting on the same floor but in a different unit and they said I could go to it. I was so happy because I knew I would get my caffeine fix while there. I was mortified to see my AA sponsor in attendance at this meeting. I sat in the back hoping he wouldn't notice me but no such luck. After the meeting, he caught up with me and said just 5 words. "Have you had enough yet?" I had hit my low and he knew it.

I went through an IOP and I remember every wednesday during that 3 week outpatient program, we would have a representative from AA come and give us a talk. There was this one speaker, I will never forget. She was a very pretty young lady who had just finished spending 5 years in jail for killing a person by driving drunk. Her story, along with many other stories I have since heard from other AA members were, by themselves enough to make me never pick up a drink again! So, when I went back to AA, I focused on completing the steps and making some serious changes in my life so I would never ever pick up a drink again.

That was 11 years ago, this month. When I had my one year anniversary, my AA home group had a big party for me and many from other area meetings were in attendance. Later that day, I rejoined DS and this group and I thanked everyone for being so hard on me because it helped motivate me to do everything it took, to stay sober. Many of the older members who had alot of years of sobriety, remembered me and wished me well so it was a perfect ending to a great day in my life.............

Good luck on your road to recovery and may you find peace and happiness along the way.

God Bless