Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I am a 40 year old woman and on October 5,2016 I went to a 90 day rehab facility for a terrible addiction to adderall,Xanax, and alcohol. Truthfully I never intended to quit drinking permanently, I was in complete denial about my alcoholism and I thought once I got off the pills everything would be ok. I had a wonderful experience, and when I got out of rehab I got so many incredible things back in my life. Especially a man I loved tremendously who I never thought I would see again.
Fast forward to today. On July 9, I got a DUI. I was a real estate agent and it's impossible to work in that field without driving,but i had to sell my car to pay for the attorney and fines. Even once I can get my license back, Florida requires all DUI offenders to carry 600$ a month insurance for 3 years which I can't afford. i used to spend a lot of time with my parents, who live about an hour drive away from me-but they are so disappointed in me that they don't want me around right now. After I got the dui ,my boyfriend wanted me to get sober. I tried but I kept failing. On August 24 he came to my house, found me drinking and left. For almost a solid three weeks I drank and cried and sent him horrible vicious texts and emails. When I finally sobered up for a day, I was horrified. I am trying today and most days to get sober but I find I am so lonely and so bored and sad. Alcohol doesn't take the pain away/in fact it makes it worse but at least I don't remember the sad lonely evenings.
Besides going to meetings, which I am doing, how do people fill their free time and what do you do when you get home to a lonely empty apartment. I don't really know what to do with myself.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
You cannot change the past but you can learn from it and have a great future.
Most things that are worthwhile in life require work, dedication, and patience and getting sober is no different. You may have to endure the pain of coming home a lonely apartment for a little while in order to get to a better place.
What I would suggest is to leave other people such as your parents and boyfriend out of the picture for now and to spend the time working on yourself. Meetings are a good support mechanism and can be helpful but meetings alone are rarely enough to solve the problem. You need new thinking and you can get that by going through the Twelve Steps with the guidance of a good sponsor. You will learn to forgive yourself and the sadness will go.
Parents, boyfriends etc. will no doubt have heard plenty of promises in the past and won’t be quick to believe anything that you say. You can however convince them, not by your words, but by your actions. Take a look around the meetings and listen carefully to ladies who have the sort of sobriety that you would like to have, and ask one of them if she would become your sponsor.
You feel lost right now but you can find your path in life and have a great future.
Thank you for sharing your story and I agree with PJ54 about cencentrating on yourself. I am sad to hear your parents have reacted the way they did as I believe they ought to be supportive of you. Everybody makes mistakes and drug and alcohol addiction is something that happens to so many people across all walks of life and can be triggered by a variety of factors. You've sought help in the past and you're doing the right thing by seeking help again.
I think surrounding yourself with the right people is important. I've not seen a lot of my drinking buddies since choosing sobriety. Instead I am training for a half marathon early next year for which I have a structured training plan. This gives me focus, something to aim for and makes me feel healthier. If you join a running club or other exercise club of some kind you meet new people as well. I can't tell from your post if you are still working or not but maybe do some volunteering in the interim period to get you out and about and keep yourself busy. I know this may not help your financial situation but it will look positive on your resume and again give you a structure to your day and prompt you to meet new people. I wish you all the best in your recovery :-)
1. Yes, you'll have to put aside the feelings of shame and regret you feel towards others right now and focus on your own recovery. Something frequently quoted in recovery programs is the advice on airlines before you take off: In case of an emergency, put on your oxygen mask first before helping others. This is a life emergency for you and take care of yourself first. There will be plenty of time to make amends with others later, and this will be an important part of your recovery, but now now.
2. Boredom and/or anxiety is a frequent companion of recovery as we make dramatic shifts in our lifestyle and network of friends. I like Miralee's suggestion of some kind of physical exercise, even if this is walking on sidewalks in your neighborhood or in a park. It's a great way to work off some of the pent up energy and concerns, and will also make you feel better as the endorphins kick in. I'd also suggest you keep a journal. Try not to edit your words or thoughts too much, just get them down on paper (or your laptop document or the option here at DS). Journaling is an excellent way to not only document and process your thoughts and feelings, but will actually make you feel better about yourself and assist in working through some of the anxiety you're living with.
3. Finally, I hope you aren't trying to do this alone. Please utilize AA, Refuge Recovery or some other recovery community to support you during this challenging time.
Whether you know it or not, you're in a good place right now after all you've been through. Congrats on making a touch decision to commit to recovery and please keep us informed of your progress!
I think volunteering is a great way to pass the time and there are agency's that would love to have your help. The list of things to do is endless, imho.
God Bless
1is2many
Fear of loneliness is all too familiar and terrifying. But I assure you that it doesn't have to be. I found comfort at the bottom of a bottle far too often and became reliant on the companionship, numbness and instantaneous relief that I thought I offered. I think that in some way we are scared of being alone with ourselves because we don't value who we are. We're scared that who we have become isn't enough.
Let me tell you now; YOU ARE ENOUGH! You are worthy of love, happiness and fulfilment. You deserve forgiveness and support and you will make it through this maze if you persevere.
I'm so glad that you are attending meetings, human interaction is paramount. I found such solace in others sharing their stories here online and it most definitely keeps me focused on sobriety and positive changes.
Make a list of things that you want to do around the house....washing, painting, cleaning....whatever needs to be done. Fix that nest of yours, make it a safe, comfortable and welcoming space. Make a list and start at the top. If I'm actively doing things to improve my surroundings, I find the silence less prominent. Get a cheap can of pain and renew a piece of furniture or plant some seedlings and add some green to your life.
I hope that you are faring better since your initial post. Be kind to yourself, you can do this :)