Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Self deception?

jamesross
jamesross
Wow! I really feel like a jerk. For the past while I have been fooling myself that I was alright, when the truth is I'm not. I had a relationship that had a lot of potential. I was the happiest I had ever been, but I wasn't able to be honest. She just told me some things that I never even looked at. When she came to live with me, on the same day I was trying to get some percosettes. At that time I felt no problem with pain killers, but reading it has really made me see something I don't like at all. I didn't even realize or think of it as wrong at the time. Truth is I lied. Here I was with someone that came across the country to be with me, and here I am trying to get pain killers. This was about when I first got into them. Really makes me feel like a peice of shit. I do apologize, I guess to everyone here. It's time to get real. I don't want to live this way. I am sorry.
WhooHoo
WhooHoo
James, ya gotta forgive yourself for being a jerk. You're not one anymore. You need to forgive yourself!!!
I know it's hard, uh?
Find a few moments and tell yourself you are one fine man today and will be tomorrow because that's what you are NOW and want to be forever. You're going to be in my prayers tonight. Kate
deleted_user
deleted_user
James,

Thanks for being honest. I used Lortabs and oxycontin. I thought that these would keep me from drinking so much. I wound up drinking and using the pills both at the same time. Most of the time before I got sober was spent slammed. The other day I got the news that I had to pay over 1800.00 in toll fines because I was running the toll gate to go get pills.

I am glad that you are here. I need to see your posts often becuase you lay it down real. Just don't get stuck in it. OK you messed up; now get up. If you feel like shit make sure you get it all out. We need you to get it all out -- all of it. Let us move on to recovery, now.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ya know, you are doing better than you know. You can see what it is that screwed up a good thing. Now you have to believe and know that you are a good thing. You'll never have happiness as long as you're making love to those pills.
Hugs & prayers friend
deleted_user
deleted_user
On the bright side, you are now equipped with experience on pain killer abuse and can add that to your armoury when sponsoring/helping people.

No-one can take your experience away from you.

More is being revealed indeed it seems, well done mate.
m8bear
m8bear
I too moved from my home, job, friends and family etc to live with a guy.....I thought I had it all. I used all of my character defects to shut him out of my life.....to keep drinking.....it was always his problem and never mine.

Your admittance here of what you have done is progress, that takes honesty.

The lessons we learn in life are not always easy but if we learn then they are worthwhile.
deleted_user
deleted_user
James, sorry you are going threw this. YOu post good stuff on here and have a lot of insight. I think we all get caught up in our lives, and little subconcious rats escape our basements and run a muck. It's good you recognized what you were doing and started being honest with yourself. Keep on telling yourself the truth, and you will get back on the path.... Take care.
deleted_user
deleted_user
james, you have gotta be one of the most honest, trustworthy, righteous people here! don't be so hard on yourself. there is such a thing as moving forward. moving forward, where will you take her out to dinner tomorrow night? move forward. forget and forgive.