I'm not sure AA is the place to go for your depression, but it can surely help to put the plug in the jug.

Most practicing alcoholics are depressed. Over time, heavy drinking will create depression in almost anyone. That said, I get the impression you fall into the dual diagnosis category, as do I. Judging from several comments on this thread, we're not alone. Although I suspect a majority of alcoholics have some pre-existing psychological issues, some may have learned independently to cope in a healthy way if not for discovering alcohol and/or other drugs. When I use the term "dual diagnosis," I refer to someone (like myself) who would require professional mental health support if born in an alternate universe where addictive substances did not exist. Unfortunately, we don't live in that alternate reality. The alcohol and depression are separate, but related because they feed each other.

I'm hoping that you have access to professional mental health care? I'm in the United States, and am currently uninsured. However, my state has public health clinics that charge on a sliding scale. I believe they have some mental health and substance abuse access, but it may be a long wait. If you live elsewhere, I hope it is in the UK since there are several other members of this group that live there and might have thoughts on finding the best professional assistance.

If you do have good insurance, please put it to use. Do some homework and try to find mental health professionals (therapist and psychiatrist) experienced with BOTH addiction and depression, ideally someone that lists "dual diagnosis" as an area of specialty.
Many hospitals have addiction support groups that are geared toward dual diagnosis issues. The right therapist and psychiatrist should be able to help you locate quality resources. AA, SMART Recovery, or some other program of your choice would be a really good idea. You may need multiple strategies, particularly in the beginning.

As many people have pointed out, it is possible for people with depression to stop drinking. If the depression preceded the drinking, it will not be eliminated by sobriety. The good news: eliminating alcohol will, in time, decrease the intensity of depressive episodes. The bad news: the depression may worsen in the beginning, and it will likely be accompanied by a lot of anxiety. Given the extent of your current depression, that worries me. For this reason, I'm wondering if inpatient treatment might be the way to go. Also, most of the suggestions here, mine included, require a degree of taking action. When someone is in a really dark place, sometimes action seems impossible.

Having been hospitalized for suicidal ideation several years back, I have some mixed feelings about the experience. It certainly wasn't all good. At the same time, it was a vacation of sorts, in that pretending I could function or take care of myself was utterly ridiculous and exhausting. Taking a rest from my "acting career" did restore some energy and get me past the worst of the crisis. Inpatient treatment didn't fix me, but it helped me recharge to the degree that I was able exert some effort and make some positive changes after I returned home. Then again, that was just my experience. Therefore, I hesitate to strongly advise checking in somewhere. Think of it more as an option to investigate. Also, anything I've suggested is in the spirit of trying to get you in a better state to work on the alcoholism issue. Your inner demons seem to have you half-convinced that getting sober is hopeless. Inner demons give crappy advice. The role of mental health professionals is to help you give those negative inner voices the middle finger.

Maybe some other folks here will weigh in on the inpatient treatment issue? Curious if anyone has thoughts on IF inpatient treatment is a good move. If yes, what kind? I'm uncertain if something is available specifically for dual diagnosis patients. Rehabs must see their share of other mental health issues, and psych units likely see plenty of addiction. Anyone out there have information on what type of places might be best equipped to deal with both concerns?

You are doing something for me today and illustrating that insanity that I work hard each day to stay out of the throes of. Alcoholism is a horrible disease . I will keep you in my thoughts daily.

One more thing to add, despite the length of my previous reply. I would feel irresponsible if I didn't follow my suggestion of seeking professional help with a strong warning. If you decide to see a psychiatrist, choose very carefully!! Some are excellent, but the profession of psychiatry has no shortage of quacks.

I'm wary of someone that seems overly eager, particularly at the first appointment, to prescribe a cocktail of powerful meds at high doses. Excessive enthusiasm about antipsychotics is, in my opinion, an enormous red flag.

Some people may need antipsychotics. For them, the side effects and hazards are worth the benefits. Sadly, a majority of prescriptions written for these drugs are entirely inappropriate. Unless the doctor has evidence that someone has off-the-charts mania or marked psychosis, they have no business giving someone drugs that cause the following: permanent tics, severe diabetes, massive weight gain, sudden cardiac death, atrophy of brain tissue, and (can't forget this one) endow some male patients with a nice rack. I'm not talking about antlers. "Sometimes I talk a little fast and stay up too late when I'm not depressed" does not justify endangering, or destroying the quality of, a patient's life.

Good psychiatrists care about quality of life and patient safety. The good ones favor moderate dosage, least possible side effects, and only bring out big guns as a last resort. Smart, responsible psychiatrists exist; it just may take a few tries to find one. I'll get off my soapbox now...

Realize that you are drinking a depressant to try and cure depression, does this make logical sense to you?

I know how you feel. What you are going through, I have been there. It is an incredibly scary and alone place. I almost killed myself from self medicating, LITERALLY. It takes so much energy to pull yourself out of the place you are now. Sobriety is a difficult state when you have underlying issues. If you need to talk, I am here.

Actually, I found that pulling myself up and out of depression was really quite simple when I went to meetings.

You don't have to want to be at aa meetings - and they don't work for everyone - but without them I would be dead today.

I do hope you want to live and if there is just a glimmer of hope in your soul - please take the very simple step of sitting yourself down in an aa meeting. If you can do that - and do it again and again - I promise you that your life will change for the good.

All I can say is you are worth changing for! Alcohol is robbing you and you are letting it. One day at a time is the absolute truth! I've been where you are and I'm finally 3 years sober with a powerful HATE for alcohol and the disease of addiction. It's not easy but I know it is possible! If you tell yourself it can't be done then you're right! Tell yourself you CAN! And DO!

Alcohol is extreme depressant and cause anxiety....By drinking you depression will escalate to extreme high....Longer you sober,it gets better to control the beast...Good luck...It is only up to you...I been there to.:-)

I feel the same way - it is terrible! But I am going to make myself quit drinking.....this time I hope I'm successful because alcohol is killing me.

unfortunately I am not sure if I am ready to surrender....

You're not weak minded, as society wants us to believe, you have a complex condition known as alcoholism or addiction. We don't drink because we "want to", its because our brains are not functioning correctly and our pleasure centers tell us drinking is ok while ignoring the consequences that are sure to follow.

A lot of people have taken time and consideration to respond to you but nothing changes if nothing changes. The want for something worthwhile must come from within the individual or they won't see it through.

In recovery instead of being an emotional vampire ( because that's what I was in the grip of active alcoholism) I now treasure my opportunity to be in this life and to be able to make some positive contribution where I can. I will be a long time dead, just like anyone else and I spent many years only half alive. Today I thank God that for some years now I have been wide awake. Hope you find your wake up moment too, because I know from my own experience it cannot be persuaded, cajoled or forced.

I have bipolar disorder n suffer from depression too. In the end I realized that I wasn't really suffering from depression nearly as much as I thought...it was the alcohol that was literally creating it! The illusion of happiness stayed until I ran out of beer and then in an instant I would sink lower than I was before I picked up that first beer in the morning. It is hell. It's mostly an illusion. Alcohol created my misery....the exact misery I was escaping from!

so how can someone stay sober for 7 days and then just flat out relapse? cause it happens to me every sunday....