Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Last night and yesterday were pretty rough and I came so close to drinking! Really kind of scary looking back....
My cat died, and living alone they really are my family :( I am doing much better but last night was not good. I actually went to the store to buy beer, had it in my hand and when I got in line to pay, I realized I didnt have my wallet!!! I just ran to my car and broke down! I knew I didnt even have the energy to go all the way back home and back to the store.
I went home and called my sponsor.....
I really was so close!!! I was mad at God and thought this time he had given me more than I could handle in early soberity...I mean just the night before I was questioning if I was even "getting" AA....
I have to learn from this, because really I do not want to drink today...
I am four month sober and still run out of meetings when they are over, or most of them...I have to learn how to talk to other women and I am not sure how :-/ I guess I just have to stop worring about what other think of me and get over my fear of people talking about me....or rejection, IDK....
How did you all do this, even if not in AA was it hard to make friends sober?
My cat died, and living alone they really are my family :( I am doing much better but last night was not good. I actually went to the store to buy beer, had it in my hand and when I got in line to pay, I realized I didnt have my wallet!!! I just ran to my car and broke down! I knew I didnt even have the energy to go all the way back home and back to the store.
I went home and called my sponsor.....
I really was so close!!! I was mad at God and thought this time he had given me more than I could handle in early soberity...I mean just the night before I was questioning if I was even "getting" AA....
I have to learn from this, because really I do not want to drink today...
I am four month sober and still run out of meetings when they are over, or most of them...I have to learn how to talk to other women and I am not sure how :-/ I guess I just have to stop worring about what other think of me and get over my fear of people talking about me....or rejection, IDK....
How did you all do this, even if not in AA was it hard to make friends sober?
What I have found is that various things have happened at important times over the past couple of years that were almost like tests that were designed to see if I could cope with this new way of living. I did not like to find myself in those situations, but each time I learned something new and re-enforced my belief in what I was doing. You thought that God had given you more than you could handle but as you can now see, He did not leave you to handle it alone. You passed the test so be proud of that and have faith in the future.
I can completely relate to how you feel after losing your cat. My only friend when I was drinking was our old 15 year old ginger cat and she was so wise that she could almost talk. Then she died of old age and it was heart breaking. It would be dishonest of me to claim that the main reason for my drinking was anything other than the effect of alcohol, but there were other less important reasons too. One of those reasons was just the need to communicate with other people and that was a secondary reason for going to the bar. In my mind, there would be plenty of fun and conversation there and it would be a nice place to be. The reality was very different as often most of the people there would not talk to me anyway. I knew that most of them were alcoholics (but not me of course, ha, ha). Over and over again I did the same thing, thinking that tonight it would be different the insanity of alcoholism.
I believe that God has a great sense of humour although I wish I could play a few tricks back on Him sometimes. The human contact that I so desperately tried and failed to find in the bar room was found instead in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. It took a bit of work on my part though. When I went to that first meeting, I could hardly say my own name never mind anything else. What I found is that by getting involved as much as possible with the meetings, I got to know people and they got to know me. As others have suggested, there are small things that you can do that will make a huge difference. Arrive early and leave late; talk to other members; make the coffee or put away the chairs; try to share at every meeting; talk to newcomers; get telephone numbers from other women. It is also a good idea to join a group and make it your Home Group as this will give you a sense of belonging as well as helping the Group.
Like you said, you should stop worrying about what other people think of you, because that is their business not yours. Your main concern now should be to bring about changes in the way that you think about yourself. You can do that by working on the Steps with your sponsor. You will learn that you are no better and no worse than anyone else at the meetings and that you dont need to look up to anyone. Once you have gone through the first nine steps and have dealt with the past, you are entitled to look anyone in the eye. Your self-confidence and self-esteem will rise and you will make friends easier. First, you need to have faith in your Higher Power and in people who will help you.
You now have an opportunity to save a cat or kitty from the animal shelter. There is one out there just for you. I like to think of my cats as my angels. Sent to me to comfort and make me smile.
4 months is great and the fact you didn't drink wonderful. Good for you.
I'm glad that you didn't give in and drink. And that you made a healthier choice in its place!!
I'm a people person, so I usually have a true interest in others and when I talk to them, I tend to ask them things about themselves. It seems to be a quick way to find people who you 'click' with!!!
I'm sure you'll do fine in chatting a bit more!!!! (((((Hugs)))))
You were in my prayers last night...keep us posted, I know I am not the only one that really wonders how your night went
((HUG))
Pat